Harriet Jean Evans takes a look at the social commentary of the past, and explains why she believes it just doesn't matter.
Our anonymous blogger reflects on her attempts to have a student Christmas... and how she came to the conclusion that home-made is always best.
Gillian Love urges you to vote 'No' to the motion to replace Women's Committee with a 'Gender Equality Committee'.
Grimston House Wins Prestigious Architecture Award by David Pocock.
University officials are said to be “absolutely thrilled” at Grimston House being awarded the much coveted Campus Gem of the Year Award at a ceremony sponsored by Kory Concrete Plc last week. The ceremony marked the 3rd anniversary of the award whose past winners include quite literally three of campus’s most admired examples of architecture. In 2008, the inaugural accolade was bestowed upon Central Hall; a popular choice amongst voters in the KC staff room. 2009 saw Goodricke C Block run away with the title in a shock victory over rivals: the tennis courts by the sports centre.
In related news, Heslington Hall is to be torn down early in the next academic year after calls from the student body to rid the university of, as one prominent campus celebrity put it: “An eyesore. A hideous relic of the past.” In its place, a statue to Kory Concrete’s founder Billy Grisham is to be erected. Initial response from YUSU is generally positive.
Getting noticed - for dummies by James Heathcote.
Tried, tested and legally questionable ways of boosting your public profile*
Some people are born into the spotlight.
Some people are destined for glory.
Some people have no chance. But what about the growing number of people thirsty for the fame or even just infamy they craved as children? With the days of cheeky, youthful follies tantalisingly out of their reach, this breed of fame-deprived, stardom-yearning individuals are going to commendable lengths to achieve their full potential (whatever that is). So here, for the first time in print, are three of the most noteworthy and potentially effective/laughable (delete as appropriate) ways of getting yourself noticed. I can’t understand why they haven’t been done before. Or since.
Got a passion for fashion? An eye for the latest style? See yourself as a trend setter?
Then wear a piece of fruit. Inspired by Calvin Harris some time ago after his brief stint as a gatecrasher in one of Jedward’s X Factor performances, the pineapple adorning his vaguely recognisable locks became an overnight sensation, sending shockwaves through the chic boutique and redefining standards in headwear. Clearly, there are a few problems with this method of self-imposition, most notable is the obvious issue of the burden that will be placed upon the shoulders of pineapple growers. Now, as a keen supporter of organic and Fairtrade produce, I could see clear potential for a new, environmentally friendly fashion range pioneered by Mr Harris. However, given that the pineapple is arguably a bigger celebrity than Cal, I think he needs a rethink – nobody wants to be second place to fruit. Well it’s just embarrassing isn’t it?!
We were told as children to aim for the stars, and that’s exactly what two American parents had in mind for their son when they set him on his journey to worldwide recognisability in a hot air balloon. (In which they had placed him. For some reason.) With mom and pa looking on, brimming with pride and erm... ‘disbelief’, the ropes holding the balloon down ‘inexplicably’ came loose and launched the child on his journey to the stars. And just when you think things couldn’t get any worse, a completely unforeseeable and tragic series of unfolded. In the wind, the rope anchoring the balloon to the ground snapped, balloon et al making a desperate dash for the horizon. I doubt Nostradamus could have predicted that one!
For those of you wiping a tear from you cheek at this point, fear not. Miraculously, (or as some heartless sceptics said at the time, ‘suspiciously’) the boy later revealed himself to the world when he emerged from a hiding place in the loft of the family trailor. I mean caravan. I mean shack. I mean house. All those affected by the incident breathed a long, over-exaggerated sigh of relief. After all, it’s so easy to lose track of your child when you’re placing him in a balloon. Panic stricken and inconsolable, the parents rushed to the press. I find it hard to believe that they would really have the audacity to fabricate something so fairytale-esque purely to get themselves a bit of publicity. Surely not even small town Americans would do that to their children just for column inches?!
(The fact that they later admitted to making the whole thing up is not relevant to this article.)
The final method has to take the presidential crown for the most ingenious, most effective and simplest of the lot: just tell the truth. It seems the latest and arguably most effective way of getting yourself noticed is to turn up at important events (a White House dinner, for example), approach the burly Secret Service agent at the door and give them your real name, knowing full well it won’t be on the guest list. And hey presto, you’re in!
I’ve spent a while going over this in my head and still can’t fathom exactly how it works. For years people have been creating false identities, from the dead canoe man to reporters-cum-Buckingham Palace workers. And now, two previously unknown TV presenters have come along and done something so ludicrously stupid that it’s actually pure genius. I’m surprised that a room full of politicians and important dignitaries didn’t notice the invaders, seeing as everything that goes on at the White House is rosy (I know it is, I’ve seen it on the telly).
The Secret Service have told us that President Obama was never placed in any danger. That’s lucky. It would be a concerning to think that the security team responsible for the most powerful man on Earth didn’t have a clue. Clearly these chaps know what they’re doing. They just can’t read.
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