That Girl from Derwent dwells on the value of religion this Christmas.
That Girl from Derwent has learned a few more things about prejudice since moving up North.
That Girl From Derwent reckons if you're going to be offensive, you should find a better reason.
That Girl from Derwent considers why it is that some words have wider implications than others.
...if you cock up Freshers' Week?
Freshers Week. Everyone loves it. The best week of your life, they say. It's when you make a billion friends, when you spend every night getting progressively more shit-faced, where everyone is a free spirit. Everyone gets laid, everyone loves everyone, and everyone lives in a state of boozed up bliss before real life kicks in. Us Yorkies have the unenviable task of waiting almost a month where even the most reclusive of our friends piss off to other unis and tell you that yes, Freshers is quite easily the best thing since sliced bread with tits.
No-one, I repeat NO-ONE, can fuck up Freshers Week. No pressure!
Come 11th October 2009, and guess who does just that?
Ladies and gentleman, I present to you ten things you should NOT do in Freshers Week:
1.Don't make a first impression by turfing your neighbour out of her room. If there's a misunderstanding, make sure you get there early enough that she HASN'T already put all her photos up by the time the mix-up happens.
2.Being moderately clumsy is endearing. Not being able to operate a toastie machine without spilling shit all over the floor just makes you look like a tit.
3.Your arrival at the state of drunkenness does not need to be accompanied by banging your only glass down on a table.
4.Said glass banging does not always need to be accompanied by the cry of “motherFUCKER”.
5.Telling a non-PC joke to a minority doesn't show you have an edgy sense of humour and choose to convey society's problems through laughter. It may just make you look racist.
6.The entire English department MAY get a little bit offended if you ask in the introductory lecture whether the reading list they sent you three months ago is “really that important”.
7.NOBODY likes puns. If you want to use one, don't.
8.If they're not funny the first time, don't use them again. So being at the back of a line isn't always a cue to blurt out “We're P Block. We should be in front of the Q!”
9.Don't lose your phone on the first night. It makes numbers just a little bit difficult.
But wait!
10 I said, 10 things not to do in the first week. Which brings me to the most important point, more important than every single one of the first 9 put together.
DON'T PANIC.
Even if you make more social blunders than Prince Philip as played by Michael Cera in a sitcom written by Ricky Gervais, don't despair. The chap who did all of this, who worried his arse off that he'd fucked up any possibility of getting along with his flat, and who was convinced by the end of the week that no-one could stand him, finds this now a distant memory. The flat who witnessed the pratfalls became a dozen of his favourite people in the world, and even more were scattered throughout the rest of the uni. And, as any person who's even seen a single one of his pathetic “I MISS YORK!” status updates will know, he's had quite easily the best year of his life BAR NONE.
Everyone gives Freshers advice on how not to fuck up Freshers, but what nobody seems to emphasise is that it's only one week out of 30. Of course some people are going to come off as idiots: when a bunch of people from all walks of life are thrown together at random, it's safe to say very few people will actually be themselves. And often, when after a few weeks you do settle down and be yourself, you may just find that yourself is someone that people like.
University is an awesome place. It's not like the bloody pathetic social feudal system of the school common room, where people are judged and shoved into cliques, and those on the lowest rungs waddle in their own shit for years. It's where people make an effort to like other people, where minds can change, where someone you thought was a twat in the first few weeks can become a best friend. If you stay friendly, and make the effort to socialise, and don't judge OTHER people on first impressions, then you'll find people see through yours, and people will grow to like you. And once they do, you have a whole year of weeks of boozy bliss equal to (and often, better than) Freshers, which mean all the more when you're getting bladdered with a group of people you love.
Don't worry about Freshers Week, as I can guarantee you'll have, as my first-week self would say, a motherFUCKING fantastic Freshers Year.
6.The entire English department MAY get a little bit offended if you ask in the introductory lecture whether the reading list they sent you three months ago is “really that important”.
I remember that.
That was one class moment 
Oh God, people still remember that? 
I likey. I give lighty.
Haha I remember the English department moment! But I wouldn't have remembered it if you hadn't written about it 
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