That Girl from Derwent dwells on the value of religion this Christmas.
That Girl from Derwent has learned a few more things about prejudice since moving up North.
That Girl From Derwent reckons if you're going to be offensive, you should find a better reason.
That Girl from Derwent considers why it is that some words have wider implications than others.
It’s something about those glossy pages and happy, smiling women on the cover that makes me think perhaps this one will hold the answers. So I take it to the counter – throwing in a Galaxy bar for good measure - then I go home and trawl through the pages hoping that by the end I’ll have perfect skin, will have lost two dress sizes and will have developed a new confidence in myself (despite having eaten the entire bar of Galaxy and grabbed some crisps from the cupboard whilst reading). I’m not quite sure how I manage to delude myself every time, but I always end up floating around on a post-advice high like I’ve been given a new lease of life in ten easy bullet points.
Of course this only lasts for about an hour and then I’m back to my old ways.
It’s not only that I get bored with new projects pretty easily (hence my ‘no chocolate’ rule went out the window a long time ago: why did I even bother?), but the fact that even if I did try to stick to some of the advice in these magazines then I’d just end up going around in circles. One week they’re telling you how to lose weight and the next they’re talking about how “curvaceous” is so in; one week it’s all about being confident and asking the guy out - because a girl who knows what she wants is so sexy - and the next they’re telling you to play it cool and wait for him to act - because no one likes someone who’s too desperate. Here’s ten top tips on how to perfect your make-up – but natural is beautiful so don’t bother with them; wear clothes you’re comfortable in because you shouldn’t pretend to be someone you’re not – but here are all the fabulous new trends that you simply HAVE to follow this summer; who even cares about what the celebrities are up to? Not us, we’re so over that, but did you hear that Katie Price and Alex Reid have split up?
So I know they’re full of conflicting advice, I know that despite being about a hundred pages long they never actually say a lot, and I know that each week will be pretty much the same.
So why do I keep buying them?
I think it’s because sometime you just need a break. You maybe want to feel that someone else has similar problems and that they can be solved, or that it’s nice to think that you can regain control of your life.
Maybe, after a day of deep and meaningful conversation that leaves you less than happy with the state of the world, you just want something bright and cheerful. When you want to relax, you need a way for your mind to wind down without getting bored and I guess magazines are a good way to do that. They’re an easy read, and sometimes that’s exactly what we need.
So despite their many shortcomings, I don’t think I’ll be replacing my Cosmo with Rousseau just yet.
I totally agree! I'm a shameless addict, even though I know it's all tosh really.
I had an ex that treated cosmo like a bible. It was absolute hell in the bedroom.
Superb article until the closing paragraphs... The attack on these magazines was a cracking read then you back-pedal a bit which is disappointing...
It's one of those articles in which the author says why they hate something then concede that it's actually ok. It's a bit... I don't know... 'mindless and unoriginal.'
Should have stopped writing a while before the conclusion. Yes. A little less ink would have been perfect...
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