Harriet Jean Evans takes a look at the social commentary of the past, and explains why she believes it just doesn't matter.
Our anonymous blogger reflects on her attempts to have a student Christmas... and how she came to the conclusion that home-made is always best.
Gillian Love urges you to vote 'No' to the motion to replace Women's Committee with a 'Gender Equality Committee'.
2 is glue: uncap that Bostik and take a big ol’ whiff. Careful not to clog your nostrils, you’ll be needing them later.
3 is E: everyone in the game drops a pill. First player to talk about their feelings or reveal a deep and heartfelt emotional secret (and anyone who listens with genuine and sympathetic interest) must drink.
4 is score: leave the table and go score some drugs. If you return successfully within half an hour, everyone downs their drink. If you fail and end up lying in a dark alley minus your mobile phone and your wallet, drink three fingers.
5 is alive: everyone in the game who is still alive must down both their own drink and the drink of the nearest dead player.
6 is fix: get out your gear and shoot up. If you can’t find a suitable vein within a minute and a half, drink three fingers and smoke it instead.
7 is heaven: add a little cocaine to that heroin and cook yourself up a speedball. Give your drink away. You don’t need it anymore.
8 is mate: give someone a hug and tell them they are your best friend. Insist this is not the drugs talking, but you honestly feel a deep emotional connection that will still be there in the morning when the drugs have gone and you are staring at the wall wishing you were dead.
9 is line: tip a bit of drugs into the middle of the table. This is now the communal drug pile. The player who draws the last nine must roll up a tenner and hoover like Henry. Failure to complete the whole line in one go will result in a three finger penalty.
10 is den: fire up your crackpipe and pass it around the table. First player to cough while honking on it must drink two fingers.
Jack is smack: take out your works… and slap the nearest player around the face. Yeah, didn’t see that one coming, did you. Now down your drink.
Queen is bongwaterfall: everyone takes a hit from their own personal bong. You may not breathe out until the player to your right has done so.
King is ketamine: snort a dirty slug of kevin and put on a plastic crown. You are now the Ketamine King. Everyone must address you as “Your Horsey Highness”. At any time you may shout “is ket just for horses?” and the last player to say “neigh” must drink.
Ace is bass: crank that dirty bassline to 13. First player whose ears explode must down the rest of their drink. Then go to the hospital.
Have fun kids!
Absolute genius!
My favourite is definately the ketamine king...
'Is ket just for horses?' 'neigh'
Amazing!
I hope to God this is parody, otherwise it really is a new low.
#3 :
I hope to God you know it's 'parody' and realise that the Yorker aren't really advocating the use of cocaine, ecstacy, ketamine and heroin. Otherwise it really is a new low (of intelligence and logic) ...
Fool.
A parody?! Are you serious?! Months of research and fine-tuning have gone into this game! My best friend, my brother, and five cousins died playtesting it, and I submitted the final draft from a hospital bed after drawing three 7s and four 10s in a row!
Jesus. Some people...
More stuff like this on The Yorker please!!!!!
You must log in to submit a comment.
Report