Monte Carlo

I never thought I’d wish to be fourteen again... But there I was, the only person in the cinema to have already taken my GCSEs, thinking: “maybe if I were eight years younger I’d not only be popular enough to have my phone go off several times during the film, but I’d be enjoying myself”. I briefly longed for my less discerning days as a tweenager, when I found fewer things irritable and enjoyed movies like Monte Carlo. But then I remembered what it was actually like to be that age, shuddered, and returned to focusing on the less-than-surprising sequence of events, wondering when I got so old.

I realised once-upon-a-time this would have been exactly the type of film I’d have gone for, so I started to consider what it is that ten to fourteen-year-old girls look for in a movie. And I decided Monte Carlo ticked every box. First, some familiar faces (for me the Olsen Twins were always a favourite…) such as Gossip Girl’s Leighton Meester, who successfully plays an un-Blair-like-role. Most tweenagers are worldly-wise enough to know that Justin Bieber can’t appear in every film, but his girlfriend, Selena Gomez, will do. In fact she plays both the lead and the character the lead is misidentified as, an English heiress, and to be fair to Gomez her British accent trumps those of actors known actually for their talent, rather than their teen-pop boyfriend and Disney associations.

So our lead, Grace, a ‘just like you and me’ (tick!) eighteen-year-old girl from Texas, does what only 37% of Americans have done: gets a passport. She sets off for a Parisian adventure with her nearly-thirty best friend, Katie Cassidy, and straight-laced stepsister, Meester: for me, the only convincing performance. Granted, the scenery is beautiful, and ignoring the clichés (fat French man in bath with beret, Eiffel Tower clearly framed by window…) the depiction of Paris is colourful and, mostly, genuine, although some scenes were filmed in Budapest. In a ‘hilarious’ turn of events, Grace is mistaken for an English aristocrat and the three girls are whisked off to Monte Carlo, where romantic encounters with typically gorgeous men (tick!) and fabulous dress-ups for a ball (tick!) accompany more lovely scenery. I wouldn’t want to ruin the fun, but I can reassure you that there is a classic plot-hiccup, a will-they-make-it-in-time-mission, and a dreamy, loved-up fireworks scene where Grace describes what a snow globe does (educational!).

Apparently the producers originally intended Nicole Kidman and Julia Roberts to star but ‘decided to go for a younger cast’ (read: ‘Kidman and Roberts know how to dodge a bullet’). Despite my tone, I wouldn’t go so far as to say the film is a waste of time. Quite the contrary, there were valuable morals to take away from it: being rich isn’t as fun as it seems, love is more important than anything else, ever, and finally: be yourself. And that’s another box ticked… tweenagers need to know these things!

See Monte Carlo at York's Reel Cinema. Visit http://york.reelcinemas.co.uk/ for more information

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