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One always hopes that exotic locations will lead to exciting and bizarre experiences. After all, what is the point of taking a holiday into the unknown if not to have taste of something new. Admittedly, a promising romantic weekend at the beach with that cute brunette you’ve had your eye on for while can end up with a wet, mosquito-itching, oh-so-sexy game of scrabble! Murphy’s law, unfortunately, is only very often proved right. Sometimes new destinations lead to new experiences, good or bad. This is one of them.
Going to a crocodile farm ranks rather high in the touristic moments of controlled fear. Fat, lazy, docile, apathetic crocodiles piled on top of one another, literally looking for their place in the Mauritian sun. Unfortunately, in the sad, pen-house of stagnant water, they became a mere marketable commodity, losing their hair-tingling fear-inspiring splendor.
A fuming lump of whitish meat accompanied by the typical, but in this case strange crispy chips, small side salad and a creamy indescribable sauce not unlike tartar sauce. The knife slid in unexpectedly smoothly. In colour very similar to a slightly gone off chicken fillet; white with a grayish tint. It does not possess the fibrous aspect of that meat. rather, it has the muscular complexion of a proper beef steak. Upon first bite, the initial intrigue and excitement evaporated. It tasted quite a lot like chicken, but fishy, and had the ill-fortune of possessing the filandrous quality of shrimp.
Gastronomically, crocodile is the son of a bullock and a clearly sexually-confused gambas. Unlike steak, it has a rather muddy taste, which made every oozing bit less satisfying than its herbivorous counterpart.
Again, the crocodile steak sits on the fence of flavours. It is somewhere between fish food –and I don’t mean the Ben and Jerry ice cream - and deer. Although difficult to eat, it isn’t as tough as deer, but it possessed the heavy, literally breathtaking quality of venison. The local tartar sauce complimented it well, with its sweet and garlicky taste adding to the slightly dull crocodile steak.
This remains a memorable experience. Most memorable was the garlicky, fishy halitosis which clung diligently to me for the next couple of days. So much for an exciting holiday.
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