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I am all for creativity in the kitchen. Smother your salmon with tandoori sauce or sprinkle some paprika over your scrambled eggs - if it's a new twist, it can only be a good thing, right? Only when culinary creations are manipulated at the hands of marketing departments up and down the country should you start to worry. Once downright bizarre creations are advertised as the latest gastronomic trend, things just descend to farcical levels.
Earlier this year we were faced with the media onslaught of Walkers' 'Have a Flavour' competition, where five nauseating and barely mediocre flavours competed to win a permanent spot in the company's lineup. At the same time, Iceland reportedly began producing chicken tikka lasagnes and Aldi started selling Stilton cheese infused frozen beef burgers.
Now it would seem as if everyone, from the budget supermarket chains to the high-end, upmarket stores are competing to become the next Heston Blumenthal as they desperately try to envisage the latest unusual food combinations. A brisk walk along any supermarket aisle will draw your attention to several Blumenthal-wannabe products, and it is these oddities which provide talking points for us, regardless of whether our reactions are laudatory or verging on the defamatory.
Blumenthal became famous because of his wish to playfully confuse the senses, a desire conveyed through signature dishes like snail porridge and bacon ice-cream. Not only did his audacious creativity cause him to stand out amongst his rival chefs, but these creations tasted delicious too, which is why The Fat Duck is one of the most popular restaurants worldwide. People don't book six months ahead for a table just because they want to try some parsnip cereal, they do it because something so strange apparently tastes so good.
Waitrose's latest offering of strawberry sausages appears to be a vision gone very, very wrong. Combining something sweet and savoury can be hazardous in itself, but the very description is disgusting. Why on earth would anyone of sane and sound mind willingly taste something described as 'strawberries, creme fraiche and mint with sausage'?
The aforementioned supermarket appears defiant in the face of incredulity and criticism, asserting that the (thankfully) limited edition sausage encapsulates 'the flavour of the season', which I suppose is somewhat true. If Waitrose is implying that an English summer is nothing like what it promises, I concur that its sausages are not exactly what you'd call sausages either.
Despite all its insistence about celebrating tennis season, I'd like to look beyond the chirpy spin. This isn't about culinary genius. Ultimately, this is about the bottom line, the profits, the cold hard cash. After all, if Waitrose's latest offering has managed to prick the ears and rankle the intestines of such revered media publications such as The Guardian, it has only succeeded further in attracting public attention. After all, how many people will be tempted to go into Waitrose or any other supermarket, just to try a taste of that berry banger everyone's been talking about?
Of course, there will always be those who work tirelessly for the dual goals of taste and originality, and I don't condemn their efforts for a minute. But as for the supermarkets chains, I'm not so sure. Next time you see strawberry sausage or a packet of chicken tikka lasagne, just remember - it's not really there for the tasting, just the attention.
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