...and don't panic! The Know brings you advice during housing
A true friend is always there for you, especially when you're drunk.
Miss Quit regresses to her childhood this week as the prospect of beginning the "University of Life" looms.
Prone as we all are to periods of self dislike, criticism and derision, the often negative effect such thoughts can have upon us (and here I am talking about more than just fleeting everyday insecurities) may just be enough to hold us back in life.
So are the old sayings true? Are we all our own worst enemy and harshest critic?
Unfortunately, yes.
Due to a recent string of events I had been experiencing somewhat of a lull, a rut, a call-it-what-you-will, in which my usual strong sense of self had just seemed to abandon me. At first I thought that there was nothing I could do about it. How wrong I was. For you see, despite what Freud tells us, thoughts are just as manageable as actions.
Ok, so I’m not saying a person can always help thinking that he/she are slightly fat, or stupid, or whatever particular insecurity may be antagonising their psyche on any given day, but they do have the power to catch, stop, and ultimately change them.
Prime example? I am often guilty of saying the stupidest thing at the worst possible time. Immediately afterwards, I positively berate myself. Usually I wish I had a magical clock like Bernard to undo time, or else that I was flat like Stanley so that I could post myself somewhere very far away. Forgive me, I’m having a bit of a nostalgic moment for childhood characters who could do magical things. No doubt Freud would have a field day with that.
Yet, appealing as fantasises are, they are quite useless for boosting self-esteem.
My resolution to be more forgiving of my own shortcomings this week has provided me with a therapeutic sense of perspective. For once you stop concentrating on your downfalls, an infinite amount of opportunity for personal development flourishes.
I urge you to try it. If only for one day, whenever you feel the urge to diss yourself, just don’t. Stop yourself and say: 'Alright, so maybe I’m not perfect, but I could be a lot worse. I could be Paris Hilton/Hitler/a Scientologist.'
This is a matter of self-control, just the same as giving up caffeine or taking up exercise are. With that, it utterly bemuses me how people neglect themselves. Why are we so quick to nurture romantic/friend relationships, yet all too ready to destroy the most important relationship any of us will ever have: the one that we have with ourselves?
There seems to be a kind of shame associated with loving oneself. Words concerning the concept of self regard, such as ‘selfish’ or ‘self-centred’, have undoubtedly negative connotations. Why should this be necessarily so?
We are taught from infancy to love others as ourselves, but that is not much incentive if we have no sense of self-love. Thus, in a society that advocates external love, one’s capacity to love thyself is fundamentally deformed and unable to develop fully. No wonder we are our own worst enemies.
Of course, there is hope. I am a firm believer in the somewhat clichéd phrase ‘you must love yourself to love someone else’, and so, with Valentine’s Day in sight, I urge everyone to do something romantic for themselves. Buy that piece of clothing or accessory that you’ve had your eye on for ages. Have that extra slice of cake. Take yourself to the cinema. Whatever you do, remind yourself how wonderful you are, because at the end of the day, no-one else will.
The words ‘I love you’ will never sound better than when you hear them from yourself. And that, Mr Freud, is the truth.
I never used to be very confident in myself, but as the years have passed and with a great group of friends I feel pretty good about myself.
Try just smiling at other people (especially your gender of preference) as you walk down the street and just seeing who smiles back. It doesn't take any effort or commitment but can do a lot for your ego.
And believing you look good when you go out is a great booster. Look good = feel good!
what an excellent new years resolution
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