23rd January
latest news: Anna's sweet and sticky pork buns

Blog Sections

That Girl
Roxy

Latest blog entries

candle

The Advent Calendar: Day 3

Sunday, 4th December 2011

That Girl from Derwent dwells on the value of religion this Christmas.

Student reading

A dividing line

Sunday, 6th November 2011

That Girl from Derwent has learned a few more things about prejudice since moving up North.

Stamp out racism

There's no need to be racist

Monday, 31st October 2011

That Girl From Derwent reckons if you're going to be offensive, you should find a better reason.

Fuck off, Amerika

The problem of "swearing"

Tuesday, 25th October 2011

That Girl from Derwent considers why it is that some words have wider implications than others.

More blog entries

Coots at York Uni
york minster
SlutWalk2
Art class
Easter eggs
A pile of open books
Naughty Food
Cow
chess

It's my life

penguin parent
No longer this dependent...
Friday, 28th January 2011
It's now or never, yes? Because we're not going to live forever. So why do parents continue to interfere?

All through my childhood and adolescence, I struggled with the idea of rebelling against my parents. To be quite honest, we got on - and remain to get along pretty damn well. Especially given the number of times I saw my friends argue with their folks, or had to listen to them moan over and over about how difficult their parents were being.

In comparison, my home life was, and is, a haven.

When I came to University, it was sad, yes, but also kind of liberating. Never before had I had such independence. Never before had I even wanted it - but then, as soon as I got it, I couldn't get enough of it.

But I still involved my parents in a fair amount of decisions I made at University. I wasn't an adult yet - or didn't feel one - and I rang them pretty much three or four times a week. I asked my mum about cooking; I asked my dad about technological problems. When it came to housing last year I sent them links of everything. I asked about rent, about utilities - even location, even though they knew next to nothing about it.

This year, however, I asked practically no advice. I had only mentioned viewing the house once in passing before I rang them to let them know I had signed for it. And they asked hardly any questions about it - far more concerned with the fact that my boyfriend is moving in with me and my friends, than anything to do with house practicalities.

Which is why I found it astonishing when a friend of mine let on that his parents had voiced displeasure at his moving house.

Firstly, surely once we're technically adults, and technically have moved out of the parental him, we're old enough to make our own decisions? And yes, that means taking responsibility if said decisions turn out badly - but our parents should respect that, and trust us enough not to automatically assume said decisions will turn out badly.

Secondly, I understand that they're our parents, and they love us, and they want the best for us... but they have to let us work out what is best for ourselves, otherwise we'll never learn. If we never made mistakes, what kind of people would we be? There has to be a moment when we realise that we are becoming adults in our own right, rather than simply children. We need to form our own path, our own identities and likewise our parents have to accept that while they will always be our parents, they won't cannot always vet the world for us before we do things.

And most of all, they need to get that these are our lives, not theirs. Who we want to live with is our choice, as is where we want to live. We cannot always do what they'd prefer, because the most important thing is to do what we feel is best for us.

After all, if they're not careful, we'll simply stop telling them things altogether. We'll stop caring what they think. We'll just turn around and say, in the words of Billy Joel, 'this is my life. Go ahead with your own life and leave me alone'

Check out The Yorker's Twitter account for all the latest news Go to The Yorker's Fan Page on Facebook
Comment Deleted comment deleted by the author

Add Comment

You must log in to submit a comment.