“In 2008 I shall make the most of my student sex life”

In addition to offering vertical support, heading to the loos en masse offers ample opportunity for discussion of one's love life in explicit detail, while reapplying lippy and back combing one's hair!

Everything that we can’t say around the table or at the bar, we can say in those loos. And we do… all of us! In fact, if you don’t have anything much to say yourself, sitting quietly in a cubicle with your empty glass pressed up against the dividing wall can offer hours of entertainment! Believe me, I should know… (perhaps minus the glass, but who can blame a girl for a bit of poetic licence?)

So there I was, gazing somewhat hazily at the back of the toilet door in a drunken attempt to decipher whatever poster was adorning it that week. Gradually, a conversation in the cubicle next to me caught my attention, and I found myself leaning in that general direction and listening intently…

“I couldn’t believe it! He was cheating, this whole time. I never knew, I feel like such a fool. And what does she have that I don’t? She isn’t even pretty, and I swear I’m thinner than her!”

Cue sympathetic friend: “Of course you are (Daphne?!), she is just a stupid little slut, and he’ll come to his senses, you’ll see!”

Violent sobbing and sniffing from Daphne, and the sound of both she and her friend peeing – one at a time of course – accompanied this declaration. ‘Poor girl’ I thought, ‘boys are bastards, we need MEN!’

I left the cubicle and started washing my hands, noticing in the mirror that my neighbour’s door was also opening. How exciting, I was going to put a face to the voice of this wretched fellow singleton… and then, I had to double take! Daphne was middle aged; she could have easily been my Mum - a truly disturbing thought. Or, an even more disturbing thought, she could be me in twenty years time!

I had to double take! Daphne was middle aged; she could have easily been my Mum

But why was this so shocking? Why, when the Sex and the City women were all of that age, did we never find it inappropriate or desperately sad and pitiful, that they were taking New York by storm most Saturdays? In fact, Charlotte’s desire to ‘play house’ seemed boring and limited in comparison to Samantha’s swinging antics! Why do we, the younger generation, feel that we invented relationship angst?

I have never been one for commitment – perhaps I feel that having both sides of a double bed to sprawl out on is in fact preferable to ruining my painstakingly applied makeup on a night out re: poor old Daphne. The best nights out have always been with ‘the girls’, even if admittedly it might finish with someone you really wish had been removed from your phone book!

When you are young, free and single every day holds the potential for true love, and every guy/girl you meet could be that Mr/Mrs Right. But my reaction to seeing a middle aged woman still at this stage might indicate that my enjoyment of such a lifestyle depends, in fact, on its foreseeable end. Maybe I enjoyed Sex and the City so much because I felt that this was a fantastic lifestyle, but one that was far enough removed from my reality that I could watch it with enjoyment, rather than a sense of impending doom.

At university our life is about living in the moment and seizing every opportunity that presents itself. Perhaps if Daphne had got it out of her system during her twenties, she might not have found herself the centre of attention in a Wetherspoons toilet (probably a little harsh but it works well for my student logic).

So, as we begin 2008, let’s remember that the majority of us don’t really want to live like this forever. We have a few short years to really let our hair down, so I suggest we do just that. I don’t know about you, but by the time I’m 40, I might actually be ready to end up like my mother. For now however, I solemnly swear to rack up as many hair raising columns for you as is studently possible!

Happy New Year Everyone!

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