As we enter a new year, Laura Reynolds looks at how the dating game differs from previous generations.
Laura Reynolds looks at the freedoms of festive singledom
Join Jason Rose for a peek behind today's door.
Lauren Tabbron writes about the difficulties of spending Christmas away from a loved one.
As a guest to the Mojo column, I thought I’d share the ups and downs of my experiences.
Lots of students come to university already attached; which means, having survived the conversation with their partner about whether or not to stay together, they now face the challenge of keeping that relationship afloat during term time. Many other students find their mate during the course of university. But, unless they’re lucky enough to live in the same city as one another, they face the torments of separation during the holidays.
A friend of my dad’s once told me that even though she stayed with her partner throughout university and is now happily married, she still regrets not having gone to university single. This did disturb me slightly as I was faced with that same dilemma before uni, but thankfully the experience hasn’t been the same for me. I know for a lot of people uni is a time to have wild flings and multiple partners. But if you’re serious about staying with your partner (not in a disgustingly gooey/smug ‘I have eyes for no one but my cutesypoo’ kind of way, which is something I can't abide), the temptation really won’t be that great.
Very inconveniently, I suffer from the long distance lurgy in both scenarios, having met my boyfriend at home, moved house and then gone to separate universities. After getting over my deep resentment towards my parents at being forced to move, I devised a few strategies to overcome the distance problem. You’ll all have heard that communication is the key, (to many of life’s problems I’m sure), but naturally this comes in many different forms:
A very common form of long distance communication, but it can be quite pricey, especially if you’re prone to excessive talking. However, it’s really useful to keep in regular contact with your beau, to avoid growing apart from one another. I tend to find that as the term progresses I get more deeply immersed into my York University ‘bubble’, until I have no memories of the outside world. But I do find it’s best to at least share the goings-on of your bubble with your loved one. Naturally, the other problem about phone communication is that you may talk too often and run out of things to say. The phrases ‘what have you been up to?’ and ‘nothing much’ are so often repeated that I often find myself listing in great detail what I’ve had to eat, just to change the topic.
If phone bills are a problem, or if you just favour the old fashioned approach of communication, then letter writing is the way forward. Whilst this is a very romantic idea, there is the slight inconvenience of time, as by the time your letter has been received you may well have already revealed all of the exciting contents during a phone conversation. Don’t let me put you off though, as who can say they don’t experience a feeling of childlike joy when a letter arrives that isn’t a bill or a bank statement?
Probably the most important and most fun part of the long distance relationship, and if not then I’m afraid you have a problem. I find it helpful to set a reunion date as something to look forward to, so the weeks ahead don’t seem endless (again evidence of the warped university bubble I live in). Aside from the money issues travel creates, my biggest challenge has been working up the courage to set foot inside an all- boy’s uni house. Trying to wade through a mountain of unwashed dishes, and avoiding showers in the mouldy bathroom until absolutely necessary can somewhat put a dampener on a romantic weekend. But naturally all of these problems magically evaporate once your painful separation is temporarily ended.
Long distance relationships during university may be a controversial issue: can they really work? Are you sacrificing your uni experience? When I asked my boyfriend for his views on long distance love he said: ‘They’re really fun. I get to see you and then its so exciting’. Whilst I may slightly resent the fact that he would rather not see me all the time, I feel that for now, whilst we’re both enjoying university, this is a highly appropriate attitude to adopt.
Skype?
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