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I am quite proud of my Facebook profile: with nearly eight hundred friends and over 1,500 photos of me, I am a popular cyber chick. Yes, I know a Facebook friend isn’t the same as a real friend but it’s all relative. I have talked enough to these eight hundred people in order for them to recognise or add me online. That makes me more social (or technologically savvy) than many. And very photogenic.
It also makes my private life not so private. There are links to my Mademoiselle articles for public consumption and everyone from my uncle to pre-school friend, and first crush to my old school teacher has access to them via a some harmless Facebook exploration of my profile. But the numerous photos tell a tale of their own. The ratio of inebriated to non-inebriated tagged photos of me is not flattering.
Many people use Facebook as a social advertisement: sexy profile picture? Check! Loads of interesting wall posts? Check! Mobile phone number? Check! We have become experts in promoting ourselves to our peers. What an effective way to boost your sex life! When going through a dry patch, post those holiday bikini snaps for everyone to see how amazing you look naked. When stuck for whom to pull, browse through the people in your new seminar group to find out who has the most fun.
However, Facebook is also our worst enemy. Every guy you’ve ever kissed on camera and all those coupley pictures that night ages ago when you had a bit too much to drink, it’s all there. Shameful I say!
As I tried to explain to my parents, it’s not that I’m always drunk, honestly! But who takes pictures of me working in the library? I also convinced them that I’m not Mademoiselle... I don’t think they’re as gullible as they look.
It really can ruin your game. The whole, “I can’t believe I’m pulling you, I never pull guys” line is not quite so believable when there’s an entire album dedicated to your sexcapades. I just wish there was some way of knowing who has been checking out your profile. There are hidden Facebook stalkers among us everywhere. I once got a text from a girl who couldn’t stalk her latest crush because he had a private profile, but seeing that we were mutual friends, asked me to tell her about him. This guy has no clue he’s the centre of this obsession. I wonder if anyone has been stalking me?
I am tempted to take the University line: don’t use Facebook, it will ruin your reputation. But then I realised most people use the site for much more conservative purposes. I suppose while it’s slightly embarrassing, it’s also rather impressive to have such a complete record of our past promiscuity. So lads, keep uploading those sexy rugby pictures, I’m loving it.
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