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Laura Reynolds looks at the freedoms of festive singledom
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Lauren Tabbron writes about the difficulties of spending Christmas away from a loved one.
My victim was one of those girls you only ever see on a night out and usually redoing her make-up in the bathroom: gorgeous, bursting with sexuality, but lacking everything else. When I approached the subject with her she was more than happy to comply, dragging me halfway up the Gallery stairs so we’d have more of an audience. I discovered, to my surprise, that girls are incredible kissers! I’m sure she's more experienced than the average girl, but wow! Guys, you have it so good! She was soft all over and kissed so gently. It was such a difference from the usual bad breath and stubbly face you get from rough guys on most nights. And she could keep moving to the rhythm of the song the whole time! Well, women are the masters of multi-tasking aren't they?
So apart from the amazing sensuality of a female kiss, why kiss a girl when you can kiss a boy instead? Well, unlike kissing a boy where the audience usually looks away in disgust, girl on girl kissing is an experience that can be enjoyed by all. I liked it, she liked it, Gallery liked it and everyone went away happy.
Obviously, kissing a straight girl has very few strings attached. You both know it really is just for fun, unlike when you randomly kiss a boy and can never know if things will return to normality. I’m sure next time I see my girl, we’ll have a giggle, maybe another go, but we both know it’s just for kicks. And I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if I started kissing her friends too. In fact, she’d probably just join in as opposed to a guy who would start a fight.
Lastly, kissing a girl is the equivalent of getting naked and shouting “DO ME” in the middle of Gallery: it attracts everyone’s attention and turns almost all the boys on. Whether the boys expect a threesome or are just following the cliché that girl on girl action is sexy, I don’t know, but it sure does work. Within minutes we were surrounded by rugby lads all trying to get involved.
Why don’t more of us girls get in on this prize-winning bit of action? Who can resist a wonderful kiss followed by loads of male attention? It’s much better than getting drunk and falling into similarly drunken men left, right and centre. There’s even an element of exclusivity about it. When done correctly, the girl on girl kiss can be tasteful and classy.
I suppose it doesn’t float everyone’s boat because there is a comfort zone to cross and a constant fear that the girl you’re kissing may be more into it than you think. Perhaps too, there’s a fear that you might like it more than you expected. But isn’t that what University is about? Trying new things? Get out there girlies!
One final note, before anyone criticises this, here’s a disclaimer: this article is not about lesbians! This article is about women who kiss other women purely for fun, who don’t take the passion out of the public sector. It's for girls who feel like experimenting, pulling strings and being the centre of the gossip for once.
As joint editor of the Lifestyle Section I wholeheartedly agree with #40. If you do have opinions on sex and relationships which you feel need to be voiced, please feel free to get into contact with me at lifestyle@theyorker.co.uk. These opinions obviously cannot be malicious attacks against those like Mademoiselle but balanced, and thought provoking.
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