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The golden rule is to never ever have something casual with someone you consider to be perfect. In order to maintain a measure of aloofness, some vital personality flaw must belong to your partner in crime: how else will you ever end it? The key is to save the best men for the real deal, and use the others as a diversion in the meantime.
Additionally, most casual flings end in mutual embarrassment at best, if not full blown contempt for one another – why ruin all prospects of continuing friendship with someone you quite like for the sake of some nookie?
In an ideal universe where university students could treat sex as an act of violent passion rather than the beginnings of true love, repercussions of casual affairs would not be a problem. We could just do the deed without experiencing the feelings of remorse and rejection that inevitably occur once the fling ends its course.
Back in the real world, why is it that the ecstasy of hooking up with someone, whether for just one night or for a longer period of time, is always followed by an equally strong feeling of remorse after it’s over? In a day you can go from being incredibly close to someone, admittedly more in a physical sense than an emotional one, to avoiding your ex-fornicator at all costs. The overall result is rather neutral – pushing many of us into a constant cycle of defeating post-fling depression with new-fling elation.
Two observations stem from this statement. Firstly, the level of awkwardness between ex-lovers is directly proportional to how close you were in the heat of the moment. Indeed, a casual shag down the alleyways behind Ziggy’s results in a cessation of all communication between the culprits. More seriously, a month long relationship which was official everywhere except on Facebook leads to mutual contempt and dislike, not only between both parties but also between their extended friend networks. Obviously this observation implies that if you are going to have a casual one-off with someone you quite like, keep it short and sweet in order to maximise the chances on a continued friendship post-affair.
My second observation is that time heals most wounds. Depending on the circumstances and after varying lapses of time, distinct memories can fade into more rosy reminiscences, encouraging a return to communications and perhaps even a round two. Whether we convince ourselves that it was all fun and games or that we have both matured since the first instance, the most unexpected of intrigues can reignite and the most random times.
A one night stand doesn’t necessarily have an expiry date. Indeed, why should it? You’ve obviously both identified some positive character trait within each other and once that initial ‘Oh my gosh, was that the guy I screwed last night? Hide!’ stage is over, why not go there again? The second time’s a charm after all.
I really think there doesn't have to be any awkwardness at all after some casual sex - Things are only awkward if you think they are.
If you are both mature enough to treat it as it is then there is rarely a problem in my experience.
Dump the hottie and go back to random flings!! these theories are much less interesting than practice! and get with a member of staff...
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