As we enter a new year, Laura Reynolds looks at how the dating game differs from previous generations.
Laura Reynolds looks at the freedoms of festive singledom
Join Jason Rose for a peek behind today's door.
Lauren Tabbron writes about the difficulties of spending Christmas away from a loved one.
However, if you’re going to do it, you might as well do it properly, so here are some (extremely vague) guidelines about how best to avoid flat awkwardness on that tricky hungover morning after.
1. DON’T make moralising speeches about how important it is not to sleep with flatmates to your other flatmates as a desperate double-bluff before they find out. (They will most definitely find out).
2. DO find incriminating evidence about your other flatmates to tactically to get the heat off yourself, especially if it looks like you’re about to be outed. But DON’T indulge in too much witty “banter”, because the chances are they will then feel no guilt about similarly destroying you later…
3. DO pick a flatmate who can lie convincingly. When cornered by “the boys” and asked outright, my conquest cracked within seconds, ruining all of the carefully thought out deceptions and counter-accusations that I’d been skilfully crafting to hide my shame all day.
4. DON’T attempt to come up with outrageous lies to tell your flatmates. Yes, you can convince the girl across the corridor that the squeaking sounds were coming from upstairs for a while, but sooner or later she’ll talk to someone else who heard it and between them they WILL track you down. The more barefaced the lie the more likely you’ll get caught.
5. DON’T discuss performance afterwards. It might seem hilarious at the time with your new fresher friends, but how well do you know them? Statistically, one of them will be the annoying one who will go back and tell him exactly what you said. That won’t make anything awkward for the next year at all (!)
6. DON’T flip out when your flatmates make awful jokes about you afterwards. I came home a couple of days later to find a little tally chart pinned onto my door entitled “Boys I’ve slammed”. When confronted, the culprit told me innocently that he “just wanted to keep track”. They’re just jealous. And it’ll die down in a couple of weeks. Probably.
7. Finally, DO give yourself a man point. You deserve it.
You really don't deserve a man point.
Or you could just handle it like a sensible adult and not be a complete dickhead.
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