The Eurovision Song Contest 2010 LIVE

14:38 Test

23:22 Right, thanks to all that followed the action this evening! We hope you guys enjoyed the variety of ridiculata, and we'll be seeing you next year in Germany!

23:21 Congratulations to her and everything, but honestly, whiny voice!

23:18 It's kind of funny, the lyrics are meant to be representing annoyance, but she's so happy that it's not reflected at all in her singing!

23:18 This is so endearing. She looks like a rabbit caught in the headlights... except not about to die.

23:17 Right, the show's coming to a close and Lena's singing us out with the German flag on stage. She's purely beaming!

23:16 So, this time next year in Germany. Break out the beer and the bratwurst!

23:15 'Do I have to sing now' - Lena says with fear in the depths of her soul.

23:14 If Britain actually WANT to win we need to actually try. I recommend hiring Girls Aloud and the Xenomania team to write a song very similar to 'The Loving Kind', 'Call The Shots' or 'Love Machine'

23:13 Lots of sparkly lights, Lena's coming out with her troupe. Bless her, she's only 19, she's crying with happiness.

23:11 It's now official Germany have won. They are the first 'Big Four' nation to win since Britain were victors in 1997. Also their first victory as a unified nation. Well done to Lena!

23:11 Final country's votes now (not that they matter anymore). Armenia - 8: Ukraine ("I like her very much!") 10: Russia 12: Georgia (SHINE! SHINE!) And yes, the UK have come last.

23:09 Sweden calling ('a swedish zac efron' - Nat): 8 - Denmark, 10 - Romania, 12 - Germany

23:09 Georgia's rep looks like Lindsay Lohan. Anyway, results (3 to UK, putting us in double figures) - 8: Azerbaijan 10: Armenia 12: Belarus (for the record, the ones at the bottom, putting the UK in last place!)

23:07 Current standings: 1 - Germany 234 2 - Turkey 160 3 - Belgium 141

23:07 Moldova (where granny plays the drum): 8 - Ukraine, 10 - Russia, 12 - Romania

23:06 Macedonia - I think they're self pitying for not going through - 8: Germany 10: Turkey 12: Albania

23:04 Israel (he looks very solumn, like he has people buried in his basement): 8 - Romania, 10 - Russia, 12 - Armenia

23:03 Netherlands - gorgeous dress! - although she just fell in my eyes using the phrase 'X Factor' - 8: Turkey 10: Israel 12: Armenia (I think she meant Dutch men were voting for Apricot lady's boobs)

23:03 I am loving the lack of traditional block-voting for many countries.

23:02 UK votes (holler): 8 - Romania, 10 - Turkey, 12 - Greece

23:01 Belgium - 8: Iceland 10: Germany (boo!) 12: Greece (whoop!)

23:00 Switzerland: 8 - Albania, 10 - Serbia, 12 - Germany

23:00 Belarus (he's barely blinking - those eyes will paralyse you!) - 8: Israel 10: Ukraine 12: Russia (lots of booing in response! Guess people don't like misery and depression. Who knew?)

22:58 Lithuania (quite cute for an older man): 8 - Spain, 10 - Germany, 12 - Georgia

22:57 Cyprus reporting from the exotic location of the Cyprus international airport - 8: Romania 10: Azerbaijan 12: Greece (yay!)

22:56 Now the votes from the home nation (and inside an echo chamber): 8 - Denmark, 10 - Romania, 12 - Germany

22:55 Malta (what a hideous curtain she's draped in!) - 8: Denmark 10: Belgium 12: Azerbaijan (not bad!)

22:54 After a brief hope of a turning tide Germany definately have it!

22:54 Hello from Latvia all dressed in Brown (stop talking and giving flowers, blech): 8 - Russia, 10 - Denmark, 12 - Germany

22:53 Ukraine's votes announcer looks a bit like a milkmaid. Anyway, down to votes (Germany only got 5). 8: Turkey 10: Russia 12: Azerbaijan. They're not doing too bad!

22:51 Bulgaria: 8 - Armenia, 10 - Turkey, 12 - Azerbaijan

22:50 Back to main results. Slovakia - 8: Israel 10: Belgium 12: Germany (this is looking more inevitable now)

22:48 We've got 20/39 at the mo. Here's the results: Germany 134 Turkey 96 Belgium 93 Denmark 84 Romania 82 Could anyone else take it from Germany at this stage? The German singer has a really WHINY voice.

22:46 Spain!: 8 - Armenia, 10 - Romania, 12 - Germany

22:45 France up now - obviously has to speak in French and not English - 8: Portugal 10: Serbia(!) 12: Turkey!

22:45 How are Ireland and Iceland doing so badly tonight?

22:44 Denmark votes (not for themselves thankfully): 8 - Romania, 10 - Belgium, 12 - Germany

22:43 Top 5 currently looks like: 1 - Germany 2 - Denmark 3 - Belgium 4 - Turkey 5 - Greece

22:43 Iceland votes for: 8 - Greece, 10 - Belgium, 12 - Denmark

22:41 Greece up now - same guy who gave votes last year too! - 8: France 10: Albania 12: Cyprus (no surprise!)

22:40 Azerbaijan: 8 - Georgia, 10 - Ukraine, 12 - Turkey

22:39 If Germany win this it'll be their first victory for 28 years.

22:39 Portugal (14th to vote - Germany only 1 and Denmark 4) - 8: Greece 10: Romania 12: Spain

22:38 Russia: 8 - Azerbaijan, 10 - Georgia, 12 - Armenia (yay apricots)

22:37 You have to love the Estonian guy singing his results. What a legend!

22:37 Estonia: 8 - Georgia, 10 - Russia, 12 - Germany

22:36 One more Balkan country - come on Serbia and Bosnia! Slovenia (only 4 points to Bosnia): 8 - Serbia (told ya!) 10 - Germany 12 - Denmark

22:35 Finland: 8 - France, 10 - Israel, 12 - Germany (we could have a winner here)

22:34 No national adjudicators are going to block Balkan voting!

22:34 Bosnia calling, here are their votes with scary eyeliner: 8 - Germany, 10 - Turkey, 12 - Serbia

22:33 Poland (from the Polish people if there was any doubt) 8: Azerbaijan 10: Belgium 12: Denmark

22:32 Smile and no one will suspect that the telephone isn't working

22:32 More of some lovely Balkan block voting!

22:32 Croatia: 8 - Serbia, 10 - Bosnia, 12 - Turkey

22:31 Current top 3 stands at Greece, Germany & Belgium

22:31 No votes from Turkey to Cyprus, how unusual

22:31 Let's talk Turkey: 8 - Bosnia, 10 - Germany, 12 - Azerbaijan

22:30 Albania (1 point for UK!) - 8: Turkey 10: Germany 12: Greece!

22:30 COME ON GREECE!!!

22:29 YES! BALKAN BLOCK VOTING!

22:29 Serbia's vote: 8 - Germany, 10 - Greece, 12 - Bosnia

22:28 Germany (why is the public singing seven nation army?) - 8: Greece 10: Turkey 12: Belgium

22:27 Denmark!? Seriously!?

22:27 Ireland gave UK 4. Well at least that song of crap won't get nul points.

22:26 Ireland voted: 8 - Germany, 10 - Belgium, 12 - Denmark

22:26 8 - Turkey. 10 - Moldova (neighbours, duh). 12 - Denmark (the 'wanna know' people)

22:25 Romania are the first to vote. Commence ass-kissing.

22:24 Oh, here we go. "We have been dancing here, it has been so fun". Couldn't have been more deadpan if he tried.

22:23 Finally, we've got results coming up. Oh, but no, we must first say hello to the exec supervisor of Eurovision. But bear in mind, it's not actually real.

22:21 GAH IT'S THE CLOWNS!

22:20 Call me crazy, but I'm loving this. It's so all inclusive. Definitely makes it feel like the whole of Europe is uniting.

22:19 Loving the loner dancing in the North Sea.

22:18 The dancing webcam footage is priceless. Some brilliant moments of dancing dogs, bouncing children and generally people looking like tools. THIS is what Eurovision is all about!

22:17 Extreme goosebump moment here! An entertaining interval act. How did Norway do this!

22:15 we had to be the least co-ordinated country in Europe *hangs head in shame*

22:15 It's actually sort of awesome - we've got massive crowds of people doing the same dance routine all over European streets.

22:14 Those suits are terrible. They're doing a flashmob inspired thing where more and more people are joining in. It's sort of like in a musical...

22:14 Overenthusiastic bouncers there... hehe

22:12 Time for the infamous interval act. Norwegian urban dance music.

22:12 On a mere fraction of the budget that Russia had last year Norway have a lot to be proud of.

22:11 Counting down until the lines are closed. DRAMATIC.

22:09 I'll take this opportunity to tell you all to youtube Slovenia's entry which didn't make it past the semifinals but was AMAZING.

22:06 Yet anothe recap of songs. And a FOURTH chance to hear that damned Spanish song!

22:05 There are nuts in the applecake. Notify the coastguard!!!

22:03 We're just recapping at the mo. On second watching, we've noticed the misfortunate eyebrow shaping of Ukraine and the fact that Portugal looks like Amelle Berrabah on a bad day.

22:01 Peter - 'Ok I may be voting for both Iceland and Armenia'

21:58 Peter - 'I am voting for Armenia. Satanic apricot rituals for the win'

21:58 Is anyone voting? Let yourselves be heard!

21:56 We got pizza offers from the host, a microwave and he just unveiled a lime green sparkly shirt. This has just become farcical.

21:56 'if you have several favourites vote for all of them' - please contact the billpayer before you do this

21:54 And the backing singer comes on with the old slip n' slide. Very dramatic and VERY unnecessary.

21:53 Why oh why did they have to perform this again. It is the stuff of childhood nightmares... "Can't sleep, clowns will eat me".

21:52 We're being treated to creepy circus and Leo Sayer again, for those of you who forgot.

21:51 Well, that would be the end, if we weren't being tied down and forced to listen to Spain again. Gah.

21:50 A first for the evening. The singers are approaching the crowd. Ceremoniously accompanied by a key change.

21:49 Oh no they're being pulled apart! Such star crossed lovers!

21:49 A rather comic screen separating them on stage. A grating chorus of the words "wanna know" repeated 12 times.

21:48 No Danish people were involved in the making of this song apparently. Written by Swedes and performed by Thai and Russian peoples.

21:47 He's definitely getting swept up in his own song. He looks like he's about to cry with blind passion. He does keep repeating 'Lord!' in Hebrew.

21:45 Aw, he's so pretty! I could melt into those brown eyes.

21:44 Get ready ladies and gentlemen. It's sounds like he'll break into a chorus of 'All By Myself'/

21:44 Israel now - he was a runner-up on their Israeli Idol. Thankfully, singing in his native language, something many haven't done.

21:43 Aaah...assault on ears....assault!!!

21:42 Her mouth... it's like a cave.

21:41 On a good note. At least the dress is pretty. Right?

21:41 Well, we've already had pitch problems from her trying to imitate Leona Lewis. We're dreading those inevitable big notes...

21:40 Now Portugal - entered 43 times and never won, or even been top 5. I'll be honest, this year won't be different. She's a London student.

21:38 'I painted my toenails for you just to feel the dye' - this girl needs to get out more.

21:37 Cute as a button and singing in a slight yodel. She may be slightly scary but am strangely drawn to her like a siren from Greek mythology.

21:37 Germany on now. A bit of a gothic Amy Adams singing. Wearing a cute LBD, but why sing in English with the beautiful poetic German language...?

21:35 THE RITUAL WORKED! A TREE GREW ON STAGE!!! Looks like the backing dancer did not die in vain. You didn't see that? That's because of the mirrors.

21:34 It does have the oldest performer ever (83) for Eurovision playing the dukduk. At least that partly redeems this song.

21:34 Taking all bets... which one will be the blood sacrifice.

21:33 Ok, backing dancers drinking wine. Here is hoping for some satanic apricot-based ritual.

21:33 Well, smart move to get the boobs out. Not sure how many votes an apricot is going to mobilise.

21:32 Armenia with 'Apricot Stone'. It is actually a song about apricots. Seriously. There is a giant apricot stone on stage. It is HILARIOUS.

21:31 Only 5 left... and Spain. Damn you stage invader!!!

21:31 Well, good to know the Uk table in the Green Room has a beefeater. And a mini-volcano at the Iceland table - LOL!

21:30 This would have been better if given the option to compare meerkats.

21:29 "And I'm looking at your photo". Fortunately we got a shot of the photo. It is most likely a child's scribble of a Da Vinci painting.

21:28 'Here I am lost and forgotten'... soon he'll whip out the razorblades and we'll be all the more thankful.

21:27 Russia - apparently they got booed when they got through the semi-finals. 'Lost and Forgotten'. Rated 'D' for 'Depresso-Rama'.

21:26 Could her outfit be any tighter? A wrong move and there will be the sound of ripping.

21:26 I'm just waiting for actual fire-playing. The piano did just shoot fire though. But that might have been a reaction to her wailing which only the dogs could hear.

21:25 The lights in the background are randomly spelling out 'girl' and 'boy'. There has been a severe lack of pyrotechnics in this song.

21:24 Onto Romania - 'Playing with Fire'. The singer apparently lives and works in Norway. Opening few bars a little 'Don't Stop Believin' esque. Nope, forget that. We have duelling pianos on a perspex piano. And whoa, the female singer's face looks like it's made of plastic.

21:21 "Clap your hands!" We oblige, and then stop realising how dumb we look.

21:21 Oh my! Cheeky bum slap - Nat

21:20 A bit of cheeky grinding from the lead singers. Some Latino-Caribbean influence going on too.

21:19 Suddenly we are well and truly put of Balladtown and into danceville. About time too. This is getting fun :D

21:19 Now onto a cheesy europop entry from France: 'Allez, Olla, Ole!" Their official world cup record too.

21:18 This dress is what we like to call a 'naked dress'. Fully clothed yet looks like she is in the nuddy.

21:17 It's all kinds of dramatic. Peter: "I feel kind of bad for her...but I kind of want her to stop".

21:16 Ukraine now (number 17, if you're keeping count); she's in a red dress with a black cloak over her head :S Singing a song called 'Sweet People', I think it's supposed to have some sort of message. "Sweet People, what have we done?"

21:15 This is the song that Iceland have tried for a few years to win Eurovision with. This is definately their strongest entry since Birgitta sang 'Open Your Heart' in 2003

21:13 Immediate love! It's catchy, great beat, good vocals and in a pseudo-block voting country. There has to be decent odds on this doing exceptionally well.

21:12 Iceland on now. A big jolly redhaired lady in a big red dress. Song called 'Je Ne Sais Quoi'. Though don't be fooled, she's still singing in English. Apparently it's a big clubbing anthem over there.

21:10 So far none of these songs are pop that we could imagine Girls Aloud singing. Ergo: no clear winner as of yet.

21:09 Disappointing chorus. Started out edgy with elements of electronica and descended into mindless cheese. Love the mad violinist :)

21:08 Albania up next. Her violinist recently performed for the Pope. Titled 'It's All About You'. First impressions: very Goldfrapp.

21:06 Robot costume = aluminium power ranger! She's also cutting her metallic wrists with a chainsaw. How emo!

21:05 The style of camerawork has drastically changed to suit the band. I'm liking the darkness of it, the colour matches my soul.

21:04 Verging a little on heavy-metal/electronica. They're all dressed pretty emo.

21:03 Turkey time. Very nervous smile from the lead singer. Quite a good pedigree in their history. Interesting... a woman dressed as a robot!

21:02 Aw, dude. She did not handle that key change well. She is just YELLING.

21:02 The dancers are varying between carrying the singer around, rolling on the floor and exchanging loving glances. There has to be some form of etiquette.

21:02 Singer's interacting a lot with her dancers. It's quite a nice simple melody, although she doesn't quite pull off that money note.

21:00 Next up, Georgia. Peforming true to their flag colours in red and white.

20:59 "I lied like a rug" - Oh Graham you're doing so well tonight. Love you!

20:58 Time for the commercial break... time for a scripted moment with Graham Norton.

20:58 'DO NOT CALL FOR THE UK' it said at the bottom. It's because we can't, but still, it's pretty sage advice.

20:57 We appear to be in the vicinity of homely Essex style backing dancers... could we not have tried a smidgen harder?

20:57 'You bring the sunshine, I'll bring the good times'. Yikes. Also rhyming 'laughter' with 'Happy ever after'. Ugh.

20:55 Pete Waterman has publically disowned this track, which has now turned into a Rick Astley B-Side. I feel so bad for the singer, he has been truly diddled.

20:54 Now we have the underwhelming pathetic UK entry. Josh Dubovie singing the Pete Waterman-penned 'That Sounds Good to Me'. It's a bit like that One True Voice track from a few years back.

20:53 I think we have a favourite with OPA. It's catchy, it's gimmicky and there's large drums. What's there not to love?

20:52 Aw, the rhythm is so infectious! They're all dressed in white. Then again, Greece have gone into recession and probably can't afford to host the contest, so this won't be their A-game. Still, we declare it AWESOME.

20:50 It's Greecey time. Apparently this entry is jokes.

20:49 And out comes the wind machine for the key change!

20:49 Apparently the girl playing the flute is the singer's niece. Not a bad job, pretending to play a flute and get to be watched by hundreds of millions.

20:47 Ireland now. Singer same winner for Ireland as in 1993. Yet another ballad. She certainly sounds quite a bit like Bette Midler. But good choice of purple dress to go with bright red hair!

20:45 Out come the wings with the key change!

20:44 This song has more than a passing resemblance to 'Guy Love' from that musical episode from Scrubs!

20:43 We've got 'Butterflies' from Belarus. And yes, they will quite literally be dressed as butterflies.

20:41 Spain are performing again because of the hatman! That's so stupid! Didn't make the performance anymore creepy!

20:40 Maybe it's his repeating the line "This is the Balkans! This is the Balkans, Balkans, Balkans!" Appeal to the patriots.

20:40 Out come the girls waving cleavage to get the straight guys interested... i don't know if that tactic suits the song

20:39 I'll be honest; I don't know how someone so camp got through in Serbia. It's not the most open-minded place...

20:38 Well, he mentions the town I was born in in the lyrics. I should love it...

20:38 Peter: Kill me now! Kill me now! Kill me now!

20:37 The singer looks a little like Bruno. He's outrageously camp. And here come the ridiculous Balkan horns!

20:37 Woo, here comes Nat's homeland! Representin'.

20:36 Graham Norton declared it 'refreshing simplicity'. Yup.

20:36 Lots of lovely falsetto...not always successful, but nevertheless, he's won over our hearts.

20:35 With the exception of Dima Bilan back in 2008 it is almost unheard of for a male sung ballad to win the contest... sorry Belgium. Can't argue with stats.

20:33 We're onto Belgium; a gorgeous guy singing acoustic 'Me and My Guitar'. Lots of eye candy tonight!

20:32 Ooo, a dog celebrating at home! CUTE.

20:31 We had a nice little electric guitar solo (which he wasn't actually playing; apparently you just sing along to pre-recorded tracks!)

20:30 THUNDER AND LIGHTNING! from Bosnia. I wish they were singing in their own language...boo. Lots of strobe, very rocky as well.

20:29 That was quite nice and organic. Very un-Eurovision actually.

20:27 Not the first time they've imported someone from the UK - in 2004 we had Lisa Andreas singing 'Stronger Every Minute'. She was from Croydon.

20:26 Next up, Cyprus. 'Life looks better in spring'. The singer's apparently from Wales though, even though the songwriters were Cypriot.

20:24 We have interesting fashion choices from the lead singer - inspiration from Drew Barrymore's sea urchin dress, and some Lady Gaga dress. Plus, a band of blue eye make-up around half her face.

20:23 Camp thrusts from a saxophonist. Love it!

20:22 Neon Violin FTW!

20:22 It's called 'Run Away' and is by the Sunstroke Project.

20:21 Moldova next. Let's hope for another granny playing the drum!

20:21 OUCH! Don't try the long notes please! I think he blew out the speakers on the TV. Yikes!

20:20 This is pretty painful. You can tell Norway don't want to host again.

20:18 A cappella start, a little bit of piano. He can't sing *that* well, but he sure is pretty.

20:18 OK, onto the host country Norway. Plain title: 'My Heart is Yours'.

20:17 This is very much resembling an episode of Extreme Ghostbusters from 10 years ago... this is frickin scary!

20:16 He actually did a pretty good job of looking like he fit in. But now we have another guy who ran on stage, and he apparently is supposed to belong!

20:16 Random guy managed to run onto the stage in a fez!!! God bless the bouncers.

20:15 This is why automatic qualification for the Big Four doesn't work... Spain hasn't tried since 2003

20:15 Ok, so he looks a little like Leo Sayer. And the background and music itself is very circus inspired. Ooo, acrobatics!

20:14 Rather laughably entitled 'Something Tiny'.

20:14 Right, onto number 2 Spain. We have a dude in an afro and silver suit.

20:13 For a favourite, it's a little dull. But Peter's theory is that they modelled it on Molitva (winner three years ago) and made it a little more creative.

20:12 Also... how can one smell of lipstick Ms. Azerbaijan?

20:12 If this wins the names of the winners of Junior and regular eurovision will read 'Click Clack' 'Drip Drop'

20:11 It's called 'Drip Drop'. They're singing in English. She's wearing a sparkly blue glove on her left hand, and a very oceanic (blue/green) dress. Also, she just walked down steps that light up!

20:10 Azerbaijan is going first...it's apparently the favourite as well. Pfft, no wonder since it's going first - more time to vote for them!

20:08 A difference this year is that lines are open from the start of the show. Surely that's unfair on the countries going last...?

20:07 oooo three presenters... makes for a threeway when they all eventually fall in love. Oh my, this is getting all too steamy.

20:06 Wow, I've never noticed how much he looks like The Yorker's music editor Rich Powell...seriously. Separated at birth!

20:05 We have 'Fairytale' prettyboy winner from last year doing his winning performance from last year.

20:04 Oh lord. People from different countries sending messages to their entrants encouraging them to win... blech

20:02 Currently we're zooming through history and hearing (the more successful) winners - lots of floating text of cities and years.

20:01 Apparently, 120 million people are watching Eurovision! Wow. Craziness.

20:00 Awwwww let's hope the hosts fall in love... as they do every year

20:00 Yay, Eurovision anthem!

19:50 For those of you who followed our Oscar liveblog, you'll be happy to know the Mexican five-layer dip is back :D

19:50 Good evening fellow Eurovision fans/watchers/first timers! We - Peter and Nat - are here with you for the rest of the evening, hoping to bring you some Eurovision banter, and some disturbingly high levels of Eurovision knowledge between us.

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