And behind door number 22... a guide to some music of the more traditional kind
Catherine Munn and Jacob Martin list their Top 5 programmes to watch over the festive period.
And behind door number nine... some dazzling musical delights
The complete arts guide, for week 9
Since the time of the first ape moving out of his tree and founding civil society, humanity has been in the grip of two modes of thought which have been in constant conflict. The first is the necessity to join with our fellows and live in companionship, security, and enjoy the benefits of socialized life. The second is the primitive but irrevocable urge to be alone, to move on, to hide ourselves. Sometimes this is wrapped in the cloak of modesty, intimacy, or personal liberty - in short, the desire for privacy. Anthropologists conjecture that at one time these two compulsions threatened to destroy the human race. Thankfully, an innovative saviour created a device which allowed human beings to live in society and maintain their privacy simultaneously. In this list, we salute them and the device which has made the flourishing of humanity possible. (With thanks to Lois Cameron and Lucie Vincer.)
Curtains provided the key to David Niven's success as an international jewel thief in a slapstick sequence featuring himself, his amorous nephew George, his accomplice Capucine and her dense husband Jacques Clouseau.
Sometimes an absence of curtains can be a good thing, such as when it leads to the capture of a murderer. But it can also be a bad thing, as James Stewart indulges in complete voyeurism. The motto: if you see a man with a cast on his leg looking at you through binoculars, close your curtains.
Though the power of curtains is great, they couldn't restrain legendary musical performer Al Jolson from becoming a sensation, as he burst onto a Broadway stage unbidden and enraptured audience with his classic "Mammy".
Curtains aren't just for windows. At least that's the way Julie Andrews saw it, making snappy clothes for her charges out of discarded pieces of curtain fabric. And if Julie Andrews sees it that way, you'd be smart to agree.
In a fairly brilliant use of curtains, director Wes Anderson parcels his best film into acts punctuated by theatre curtains opening and closing, mirroring his protagonist's obsession with producing elaborate stage plays.
Though usually a force for good, curtains proved lethal in this Harry Potter outing when poor old Sirius Black (Gary Oldman) was murdered by one. A lesson to all of us that we should respect the power of the curtain.
Curtains proved a dangerous thing for Daniel Craig in his pre-Bond days, as psychopath Jed believes he's being sent secret signals by Craig when he shuts his blinds, when he's really just shutting his blinds. The disturbing side of curtains.
Don't expect shower curtains to provide much protection at the Bates Motel. In fact, it's probably not a good idea to shower at the Bates Motel at all. Actually, it's probably a good idea to avoid the place altogether.
Curtains certainly came in handy for Scarlet O'Hara when she needed a nice dress, and she got a big velvety green one. The inspiration for many other curtains-to-clothes films, including Enchanted.
If you find yourself stranded in Oz (not the enchanted land, not the prison) make your way to the Emerald City and pay attention to the man behind the curtain. He may be your ticket out of there.
I love this. Probably more than I should.
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