Five guys to avoid in Freshers' Week

It may seem like a good idea...

These are, in no particular order, the guys you should avoid in Freshers.

1. The Rugby Player

Easily spotted as they sometimes have trouble getting their heads through doors.

I kid of course; however, rugby players are the cocky guys who like to walk around like they own the place. I remember in my Freshers' Week I had two guys - one after the other - come up to me and say: ‘I’m on the rugby team’. So girls, my advice to you is don't be taken in by these ‘mesmeric’ chat-up lines. As a general rule, these guys are going to sleep with you and then leave you the next morning.

If you want to bag a rugby player, wait until later on in the year.

2. Your Flat Mate

If you listen to any piece of advice I give you then let it be this: DO NOT SLEEP WITH YOUR FLATMATE. Yes, you may get incredibly drunk and start thinking the guy across the hall is attractive. Hell, the guy across the hall could be a D&G model, but I promise you, one night of sweaty horny fumblings will result in weeks and weeks of cringe-full meetings. Walking to the shower wrapped in a towel; cooking sausages in the kitchen and eating bananas will no longer be part of any daily routine due to sheer embarrassment. Even those who think they can handle it: you can’t, so please, please don’t.

On a side note, sleeping with a flat mate can make the other people you live with feel uncomfortable too, so even if it’s just for them, don’t. Female versions also count in this case.

3. Your STYC/Dad (and Mums)

As sick as it sounds, I am advising you not to sleep with your dads.

Not in the biological sense obviously. Once you get to York you are set up with what are referred to in some colleges as STYCs and in others: Mums and Dads. These are the people who look after you during Freshers' Week and throughout your first year at uni. Chances are you will find them attractive. They’re older, more confident and treat you so nicely.

But do not go there.

There are a few reasons; firstly, STYCs are banned from sleeping with their Freshers due to conflicts of interest etc. Secondly, you may think you know them, they’ve been nice to you and are kind of hot, but after Freshers' Week is over, things change - they may turn out to be a completely different person and then you spend the rest of the year regretting your decision.

4. The Cling-on

This is the guy who is romantic from the first encounter. This is the guy who, after a drunken nightmare of a shag, decides to cook you breakfast and bring it to you, on a tray, with a rose.

Sound good?

Well maybe at first.

Then he starts following you. He walks you home; offers to help you find the supermarket; carries your bag... While I find it very useful to have puppy-dogs like this whom I can control, for any inexperienced Freshers this can be hard to deal with. Thus, I suggest avoiding anyone who talks about recently ending a relationship; anyone who says, ‘I love you’, within hours (I live by the rule of years) and anyone who is more attentive to your needs than normal.

Be warned, the Cling-on can be a hidden attribute that some guys bring out later. My advice is to ditch and run for the hills.

5. The LAD

Last, but by no means least, is the LAD.

Now, if you haven’t come across this term before, its probably because you’ve not been to university before. The LAD is a guys guy, he will hang out in a huge bunch of guys and ‘bevvie up’ before nights out. There will be lots of ‘banter’ involved and the primal call of ‘lad’ can often be heard before the hoard of lads appear.

Have I lost you yet?

The LADS are a very weird group, mostly attractive with some semi-attractive guys, can be located on nights out or doing weights at the gym, always in groups of 2+. The reason to avoid this group is because as soon as you sleep with one of them it becomes public knowledge in the LAD group. If you don’t think you can cope with constant ridicule and banter, then it is certainly best to avoid the LAD.

Well that's my top five, but I should add a few more things. You should not feel pressured to sleep with anyone during Freshers' Week - or at university altogether. I know many people, myself included, who didn’t sleep with anyone in their first term, and probably feel better for it. However, if you do decide to sleep with someone, let it be on your terms and remember to use protection. You will get plenty of freebies in Freshers' Week – use them – there's no reason to get an STI or unwanted pregnancy.

Have fun and play safe.

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