Royal Ascot day two: A British institution?

Taylor bins

The Jaguars and Bentleys are boot open, hamper being busily laid out by the butler. Lazy cigar smoke rises from under the occasional battered panama hat, while h'orderves are delicately consumed with a deftness seemingly exclusive to the upper echelons of our society.

How British I thought, subconsciously straightening my back, tightening my torso and lengthening a controlled, purposeful stride. Whilst finding a splendid view for the first, I saw one member of the Royal Enclosure being reprimanded for foolhardily attempting to take his plastic cup outside, ‘I do beg your pardon, I’m terribly sorry’, came the instinctive response from the member who scuttled back inside. What kind of world is this? A long way from Friday night Gallery, that’s for sure.

But this Edwardian utopia is under threat. Royal Ascot is becoming increasingly cosmopolitan, I definitely was not expecting to hear an eastern European accent in this enclosure. Nor was I, for that matter, expecting my dad to mistake it for Spanish – talk about awkward situations, especially when the Spanish raider Equiano won the second race on the card.

Thankfully the ‘Spaniards’ had been scared off by now, leaving me to contemplate what exactly here is British anymore? The executives have decided that racegoers, of whatever nationality, should feel more attached to the jocks, of whatever nationality, who will be riding their fancies, of whatever nationality, that afternoon. They introduced a new system, akin to the tour de France (French) where the leading Jockey wears a yellow armband. The Tote was also at the front of innovations yesterday, introducing their new bet – the ToteSwinger (South African).

The winner of the first Haradasun (Australian), meant Murtagh (Irish) was the first Jock to be privileged with the ‘maillot jaune’, while in the third dual guineas hero Henrythenavigator (Irish) held off the domestic threat, and in the fourth…ahh the fourth! Je suis un connoisseur! Art Connoisseur duly obliged at generous odds of 8/1 – thank the Lord he is trained in England, sanity can be restored!

In this environment the upper lip stiffens, the emotions are restrained, one becomes gracious, obliging and terribly British. One wishes the best for Princess Eugenie (successfully clothed today, I must add) and princess Beatrice who deserves to succeed, while my – doesn’t the Queen look splendid in Champagne pink! One yearns to be British, to fit in, to shout – to scream – that this is the way that things are supposed to be! Perhaps it’s time for some quintessentially British poetry.

Rudyard Kipling wrote, “If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster, and treat those two imposters just the same…If you can make one heap of all your winnings,
and risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
and lose, and start again at your beginnings, and never breathe a word about your loss…you’ll be a Man, my son!”

Fuck that, I’m going to glug my French champagne, down a Belgian beer and whoop loudly like an Aussie, ‘all the way to the line my Son!’ We might not be so British anymore, but who cares – we’re off to a winner!

Wednesday’s World-Beaters

After a stunning 8/1 winner yesterday, George has romped into an early £44 profit.

Today we start out with the Jersey Stakes, a Group 2 race won last year by Tariq, and the year before that Jeremy. Both came from winning the King Charles II Stakes at Newmarket, won this year by Calming Influence, and he is crying out to be backed today. Having ran a touch green last time he is still very open to improvement, not that he needs to. Fresh, fit and unpenalised he looks a corking start to the day at the widely available 9/2. Jupiter Pluvius may prove to be a better horse in the long run, but no horse since 1992 has won the Jersey carrying a penalty. Dream Eater will be out to bolster 2,000 guineas form, while Aqlaam could be anything.

Enthusiasm is tempered however, as Frankie Dettori has chosen to get his leg over Il Waard instead of the selection. This is ominous, so keep stakes to a minimum.

• 1pt win Calming Influence 9/2 – widely available

In the Prince of Wales’s Stakes O’Brien should be backed to complete a Group 1 double, after Henrythenavigator was so impressive yesterday in taking the St James’s Palace Stakes. Duke of Marmalade has been equally imperious over his distance as that champion was over one mile, so the 7/4 available is generous given a lack of depth in the opposition. Phoenix Tower may be the best of them, but the Lockinge form (where he was second last time out) looked very weak yesterday and he can be confidently disregarded.

• 3pts win Duke Of Marmalade 7/4 – Paddy Power

It appears that this year’s Royal Hunt Cup is all about one horse, the 7/4 favourite Bankable. The lightly raced course and distance winner has a stone in hand of the handicapper, and must be going close. However, he is drawn 25 and yesterday seemed to be benefiting the low draws with single figure drawn horses producing devastating charges up the stands side. Docofthebay and Extraterrestrial are both strongly fancied by their respective stables, and would not be 12/1 and 16/1 respectively in a normal running of this race. They both have ideal draws and are worth supporting. For a bit of fun let’s have a crack at this new tote bet, you need both selections to get placed – but it doesn’t matter where in the front 4 they end up. If you can, find a bookie laying 5 places – there will probably be one somewhere, and punish them for their generosity.

• 0.5pts each way Docofthebay at 12/1 - widely available
• 0.5pts each way Extraterrestrial at 16/1 - widely available
• 0.5pt 7 & 16 Tote Swinger

Throughout the week the Yorker will be publishing George's profit and loss for the week, at the recommended £10 per point.

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