Royal Ascot day five: Hubris

Chin up George

They are spectacularly valiant, plucky, gutsy, speedy and stylish. They have hearts the size of jugs of Pimm’s and have lungs the capacity of Betfair blimps. They are champions. They are the Bentleys, Jaguars and Maybachs that fill the ‘AA’ car park.

For all this spectacle and splendour my lasting impression of Royal Ascot will be the sense of irony. For between the ancient Bentleys, the kind that you could imagine having war stories to share, there is the occasional mini cooper. The Italian Job Mini. I think I have finally found the most British moment of the week, for the Mini fit perfectly – albeit filling barely a third of the allocated bay.

Much of Royal Ascot is horribly tacky, much is pompous and exaggerated, but there will always be that hint of character that will never be lost. A touch of class which speaks several notches louder than the posturing of the highest class echelons, or the squawking of the lowest.

It doesn’t take a long streak of losers to become reflective in this environment and it’s these times that allow us to really get to grips with some of life’s most absorbing questions. How do men with such wrinkled chins manage to shave so close every morning? Why so ladies with such old wrinkled chests set them free for all to see?

Ascot is far too silly to take seriously, but when I was down I was down.

Followers of the column’s tipping service this week will have winced with yesterday’s results much like I, the Duke of York, did. I must apologise on this front as it’s completely my fault. You see – I wore blue. I wore a blue shirt and a blue tie. Blue is not the colour of success, blue is the colour of rain,. blue is cold. No one ever made a profit wearing blue. No-one wearing a blue collar ever become a Duke. No pomp was ever daubed in blue.

On Thursday I was imagining being driven back North in a Rolls Royce. Burgundy, or silver – never blue. I was imagining harems of parakeets hanging on my every anecdote, countrymen begging for tips and tv cameras trying in vain to catch a glimpse. When I was up I was up. Hubris can come with quite a bump.

Today will be different. Today will be pink! It shall be the most vibrant shade of neon pink, no more Mr Blue guy. Today, I shall be the Mini, neither up nor down, today I will be back on form. It is time to find my balance. As the curtain begins to fall on this unique meeting, it is time to rediscover the true Duke of York.

Saturday's Saviours

Despite the unexposed runners, the Chesham normally goes to one at the right end of the market. There was plenty to like about Free Agent’s one appearance on the track and he’ll start a deserved favourite. However, the average punter will latch onto the selection as he’s owned by the Queen – so a fair price is pretty much out of the window. Swindler is a danger as a well supported newcomer, while Seaway and Pegasus Lad are still maidens but have every chance here. Preference is for Imperial Guest who has now learnt how to win. He should improve for the extra furlong as he has been a little outpaced early on in his racing so far. If he can handle the ground then the 8/1 offered by Blue Square is a generous price.

• 1pt win Imperial Guest – 8/1 with Blue Square

The Group 2 Hardwicke has belonged to Maraahel the last two years and much will depend on his well being today. He opposes strong St Leger form this time around, with Lucarno and Macarthur looking major threats. The former has a 5lb penalty to carry and plenty to prove however after a disappointing seasonal reappearance, so can be passed over today. Speed Gifted and one time Derby fancy Spanish Moon are both lightly raced types who have the scope to improve on their seasonal debuts, but they will have to if they are to overcome the high benchmark set by Macarthur. Third last time out in a Group 1 he showed real speed and guts which if replicated today, should see him to victory. O’Brien’s headliners have taken all the plaudits this week, while his undercard have been woeful. Rest assured that he will have Macarthur right for this.

• 5pts win Macarthur – 15/8 with Blue Square

The Golden Jubilee looks one of the most open and tightly contested races of the whole week, bringing together the finest sprinters the world can boast. British racing has been long in waiting for the next sprinting superstar and now it can boast two. Sakhee’s Secret progressed through the ranks last year and has the world at his feet, much like Marchand D’Or, who has the world at his freshly healed quarters. Takeover Target will give his running again, while US Ranger was quietly impressive last time out at York. This shortlist ignores South African superstar War Artist, the winner of the 2007 French 2,000 guineas and last years winner Soldier’s Tale with the placed Balthazaar’s Gift too. While it would be no surprise to see any of these get up my gut instinct is that this will be taken by one of the big four, there is too much class between them.

The draw has been the topic of much debate this week, with low draws initially favoured. However, Ascot seems to have settled into her old habits, by favouring the extreme high and low draws – scuppering those stranded in the middle. Sakhee’s Secret and Marchand D’Or have so much going for them, but draws of 9 and 12 might prove the difference while Takeover Target and US Ranger have stalls 2 and 5. Preference is for the former, despite his advancing years. He showed he was fit and well on Tuesday over the inadequate five furlongs, so with the plum draw over a preferred distance on ground to suit he should produce a massive run. US Ranger has much to prove. He ran well at York last time but today will be the final test of his lofty reputation. Instead, back Takeover Target to go one better than last year.

• 2pts win Takeover Target – 6/1 with Sporting Bet.

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