Rugby 1sts rampant in century win

York Men’s 1sts 105 - 0 Huddersfield Men’s 1sts

The team’s first competitive match of the season always looked an easy fixture given Huddersfield’s pathetic record, but York sent the visitors spiralling to new depths with this colossal whitewash.

Huddersfield’s form this year in the BUCS Northern Conference has been nothing short of abysmal. In their five matches they’ve shipped over 300 points, an average of over sixty per game. Their best score this season was a 25-36 defeat to Sheffield Men’s 2nds at home.

By contrast, York have played just twice, but already have a superior positive points average. The Northumbria team they resoundingly beat last week are second in the table, and the only thing leaving them stuck down the league is a controversial walkover to Newcastle 3rds. Given these hugely contrasting forms one-sidedness was decidedly on the cards, but such an annihilation was still a big surprise to all, pleasant or otherwise.

York lined up champing at the bit, last week’s match away to Sheffield University having been canceled, and they descended hungrily on the opposition from the kick off. Securing the ball with ease from a lineout out on the left, the backs demonstrated good but simple handling to spread the ball across the line. The forwards needed no encouragement to pile into the game’s first ruck on the Huddersfield 22m line, and the backs then proceeded to casually move the ball left for fullback Griffin Jones to score the first of many tries just two minutes into the game.

Right wing Peter Spanker put in his first score in the left-hand corner, as did French centre Gwen Brétéché twice before even a quarter of the game was over. Bereft of a challenge in the loose, the backs almost seemed to be deliberately making things difficult for the kicker, by only scoring in the corners. Fortunately, number 10 Rob Grant proved ready to the task, converting three of the first five tries and going only slightly short and off the upright with his misses.

With the score at 31-0 on twenty minutes, 2nd’s captain Sam Dudley was able to confidently state from the sidelines, “That’s 100 then!” with a gleeful rub of his hands. Meanwhile, the forwards had quickly tired of allowing the backs all the glory, and were entertaining themselves by powering through instead of passing around the helpless Huddersfield defence.

64-0 at halftime – and no abandonment rule – had even the usually dour Scottish coach Alec Porter in joyful mood, whose team talk consisted of demanding that York, “Don’t contest their lineouts and give them their scrum.” With the lack of pace anywhere in the visiting side plain for all to see, subs Tom Buggy and Lionel Owusu showed off by sprinting past five players to score their tries. But as captain Mike Calliss tried to flaunt his own prowess by flattening the opposing fullback, he inadvertently proved that arrogance can equally go unrewarded, unflatteringly dropping the ball to the delight of all.

Unsurprisingly, Calliss’ error went unpunished, as despite brief, competent spells of possession by Huddersfield, the flow of York tries remained unstoppable. Spanker, now at 15, soon got his third and the inexperienced Owusu, unsettled at times for the 2nds last week, was made to look a seasoned pro, jogging in his hattrick in just ten minutes to gain the ton with a try to spare.

As the whistle brought Huddersfield’s pain to an end at 105-0, York were admirably quick with their three cheers for the visitors. But as resoundingly victorious as his side were, Calliss’ negativity still managed to match these heights: “That was a complete waste of time – I don’t even know if we played well... I didn’t learn anything today. I still know nothing about the team’s commitment, dedication, drive; nothing.”

Speaking of the BUCS cup matches next week, Calliss’ tempered his cynicism with diplomacy: “We’ve got three very strong teams this year, so I’m confident we can do York proud. But with two of our teams playing Leeds 2nds and Newcastle 3rds, it’s unlikely we’ll get three wins.” With even Porter saying that, “This is the strongest side we’ve ever put out in my three seasons here,” it seems Calliss is just trying to keep his men’s feet on the ground. Nevertheless, the 1sts will have to excel themselves against far tougher opposition if they are to override their captain’s pessimism.

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