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Reid saves New Zealand’s mutton, Sven is held again by Portugal, and Brazil crack tough North Korean nuts

World Cup 2010
Wednesday, 16th June 2010
Written by James Southern

Ignoring that unpleasant moment from Mr. Green-Fingers, the first real thrill of the World Cup came in yesterday’s opening game.

After bravely boring the vuvuzelas off everybody who watched for 92 minutes, New Zealand’s Winston Reid took advantage of some absent minded Slovakian defending to cancel out the Slovakians’ earlier goal and tie the game 1-1. Given that about half of NZ’s tiny population is part of the team and/or coaching staff, it was incredible to see just how organised any old team can be. I took careful note of the rigid three-at-the-back and solid central midfield performance to hopefully improve any future exploits on Football Manager. That said, the Italians should make Parma ham out of the New Zealanders in the next game, so don’t Reid too much into this result.

Next up was Portugal v Ivory Coast. Pretty much nothing to mention here, except Ronaldo reminded us all why he’s the best (yes I’m a United fan) by controlling the Jubblyball better than anyone we’ve seen so far. He smashed a drive off the post early on, but sadly that was the extent of the action. Sven, dressed like an ice cream van in his startling white Ivory Coast gear, seems to have organised The Elephants quite brilliantly and they looked more likely to score. Drogba showed his face late on, but still couldn’t spark a goal from a very disappointing game, ending in 0-0.

The night game was possibly the most anticipated of the tournament so far. North Korea turned up with a Chinese player, a striker registered as a goalkeeper, and, allegedly, Kim Jong-il’s advice on tactics. Brazil turned up as, well, Brazil. I’m at a loss to explain why ITV’s entire broadcasting team appeared to be rooting for North Korea, after leaving the BBC you’d have thought he hated oppressive dictatorships. Ooooh satire. Despite all the support from the commentators, Brazil won, thanks to goals from Maicon and Elano. North Korea did play well and did the country proud in the rare glimpse we get of that part of the world, and so they did deserve their late goal. It finished 2-1, and my accumulator (for almost 2k!) is still alive.

All in all, without doubt the best day of South Africa 2010 so far. Plenty of talking points for Lineker and co. to cliché about for another few days. In other news, it did emerge today that Ledley King is out for three weeks, and Dawson looks set to start against Algeria on Friday. If you’re reading this, Fabio, I really am so sorry that my country is full of injury prone, sex perverts who can’t catch to save their lives. Or careers.

Ben McCluskey, James Southern and Aimee Howarth will be working together to provide a daily blog during the 2010 World Cup.

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