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Keep it Under Your Hat

Panama Hat
Panama Hat
Friday, 15th June 2007
We begin this week with an anecdote from the diary of Victorian nonsense author Edward Lear. The story begins on a train from London to Guildford when Lear found himself sharing a carriage with two little boys, their mothers and a sceptic. The boys were carrying copies of one of Lear's books of nonsense verse and the man took the opportunity to inform them of his firm conviction that Edward Lear wasn't a real person. Lear himself sat in the carriage observing this scene: 'Hitherto I had kept silence, bus as my hat was, as well as my handkerchief and stick, largely marked inside with my name… the temptation was too great to resist, so, flashing all these articles at once on my would-be extinguisher's attention, I speedily reduced him to silence'. The only way Lear can prove that he is a real person is by showing the offending gentleman his name written in his hat.

Hats are funny things, even when they’re not in a story with Edward Lear. The only fact I know about hats, off the top of my head (no pun intended, well maybe a little bit intended), is that in the ‘Anthony Eden hat’ Anthony Eden is one of only two British Prime Ministers to have an item of clothing named after him, the other being the Duke of Wellington.

It’s hard to say which hat has the best name but if I had to chose I’d probably go for the panama, even better (according to wikipedia) traditionally they’re woven from the panama hat palm. Sadly the name is really a big lie and they actually originate from Ecuador, it’s possible that we get the name from the fact that they were worn by the workmen who built the Panama Canal.

Quote Despite this deceit the panama is still clearly the most sophisticated headgear around. Quote

What if you’re lucky enough to get to wear a hat for your job? Policemen are allowed this particular joy and their hats not only keep their heads dry while they’re bobbing along the beat but also give them more authority. How? you ask, well by making them look taller and, slightly more weirdly, by covering their eyebrows which are apparently an emotional giveaway, this dehumanises officers of the law and grants them more command.

What about a slightly less positive hat, the dunce’s cap? To solve this puzzle we need to know that the Dunces were followers of John Duns Scotus who was born in 1266 in Scotland. Scotus was a respected teacher but in the 16th century intellectual thought turned against him and those who followed him were considered stupid. So we get dunces. One of his odder ideas was that by wearing a conical hat you signalled that you were aspiring to greater knowledge as well as channelling that knowledge from on high; he used Wizards’ tendencies to wear conical hats to illustrate his point.

So there we go, you thought they were just for keeping your head warm or the sun off but there’s so much more to the common hat than meets the eye. And if you feel like this hasn’t quite quenched your thirst for all things hat, pop down to your local news agents and pick up a copy of ‘The Hat’ magazine. I kid you not.

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