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As Kyle Broflovski in South Park once said, “it’s hard to be a Jew on Christmas”, which is why Ross Geller’s Holiday Armadillo hits the spot for me at this time of year. The first time this episode was broadcast, my sides were splitting from his pantomime intonation, the way he waddled through Monica and Chandler’s apartment, and above all, the recognizable feeling of trying to sell the excitement of Chanukah to non-Jewish friends, and knowing it’s just never going to win against Christmas. Still, at least everyone now knows that “years ago, there were these people called…the Maccabees!” Although, to be clear, Superman was not involved…
Like eating mince pies and receiving uncomfortable knitted jumpers, watching The Vicar of Dibley is a main staple of Christmas for me. The sight of Geraldine Granger crawling down the street after consuming far too many Christmas dinners is one of those comedy moments forever engraved into my mind, as is the spout-eating contest between her and David Horton. There’s no deep, spiritual message behind this story, but it’s warm, cosy, and hilarious, which is what Christmas telly should be. Besides which, it tells us what I’ve always believed is the true purpose of Christmas: “Overeating until you spew.” Damn right.
The festive Who special has become rather a Christmas Day tradition over the last few years, but I think they’ve yet to top the very first one of the revived series. As well as the undoubted joy of killer Santa robots and rampaging Christmas trees, ‘The Christmas Invasion’ is infused with that real sense of excitement and anticipation that comes with a new Doctor’s first story. The Tenth Doctor may spend most of the episode in a post-regenerative coma, but he’s revived by tea and saves the day using a sword and a Satsuma, all while wearing pyjamas. By the time the closing credits rolled, I was already in love.
Christmas at one of TV’s most dysfunctional offices: you know it won’t end well from the moment Liz suggests a charity project and Jack hits his mother with his car. Jack, in desperation after being trapped in New York with his mother on Doctor’s orders, decides to organise a Christmas special to avoid her. Liz is on top form as one of the most gaffe prone women in the world and as ever the actual making of the show takes a back seat to the crises of its staff, with festively funny results.
In a surprise Christmas special, we find Magnum onboard his good friend TC’s helicopter along with their mutual friends Rick and the irrepressible Higgins (or, as TC calls him, Higgy-Baby). It’s Christmas Eve (though it passes for any other day in Hawaii) and they’re all journeying to their respective holiday destinations. However, all does not go smoothly when they’re forced to make a crash landing on a deserted island, which is also the target for an over-zealous Navy commander’s firing exercise. What does all this have to do with Christmas? Magnum wears a Santa costume and, as they escape the island, they sing Silent Night. Yes, really.
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