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Heston Blumenthal’s Mission Impossible: Mission Achieved?

Heston Blumenthal
Tuesday, 8th March 2011
Among the flocks of celebrity chefs clogging up our screens, Heston Blumenthal stands out as one of the most innovative, which is a nice way of saying ‘strange’. Signature items such as snail porridge and bacon and egg flavoured ice cream have turned his restaurant 'The Fat Duck' into one of the most fashionable places to eat in Britain. Previously he’d tried to reverse the ailing fortunes of Little Chef, the roadside restaurant chain. The critics loved it; the staff were less keen. This series sees him trying to reform the menus of places such as children’s hospitals. The episode I saw was concerned about cinema food.

If nothing else, the show can be seen as a devastating exposé on the cinema food industry. We all know that it’s overpriced but I was shocked to learn that a bag of popcorn costs less than a penny to buy but sells for £4.50! The popcorn bags are worth more than the popcorn themselves, so much so that when Heston tries working a shift behind the cinema food counter he is reprimanded for ripping too many bags. If nothing else I hoped that Heston’s time would at least get trading standards and regulations to check this out.

Heston’s solution to this problem was avant-garde to say the least; he proposed a ‘4D’ viewing experience and demonstrated this during a showing of the film Perfume with foul-smelling anchovies and paté and, most notably, a pineapple and coconut concoction served in a lube bottle during the orgy scene and called a ‘sperm shake’. Obviously his ideas were not taken up and it did seem to me like Heston was deliberately trying to cause a fuss in an attempt to make watchable television (i.e. arguments). It would be physically impossible for cinema chains to provide such an experience and, while it was interesting to see what Heston could come up with, the whole section seemed fruitless.

Other parts such as withholding popcorn from the customers again seemed to merely sensationalise the programme. The cinema manager Matt, portrayed as an anal bean counter, provided us with a bad guy, but I couldn’t help feeling that his role had been edited to provide the necessary clash of egos. The subsequent ideas that Heston designed, such as an ‘inside-out hotdog’ with the mustard on the inside, sounded tasty and reasonable. It does the beg the question why didn’t they make them in the first place but I think, as mentioned, this was to provide conflict.

Overall Heston Blumenthal’s Mission Impossible was a success. Some of his new ideas appealed to cinema honchos, and may even become part and parcel of your local cinematic experience. Although he seems to enjoy getting in middle managers’ faces for the sake of it, Heston is a likeable character to watch and his creations are so unique that there is nothing quite like it on television. I await the next show with interest.

Heston Blumenthal: Mission Impossible broadcasts every Tuesday on Channel 4 at 9pm.

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