Jasmine Sahu is well suited with this new American drama exclusive to Dave.
Lois Cameron explains why this series is much more than your average cosy period drama.
The last episode of this series sees Sherlock and Moriarty attempt to solve the final problem with devastating consequences.
With major cast changes afoot, Jacob Martin ponders whether Being Human can live up to its own scarily high standard.
“Tom, who I’ve now called Mr. Naotebook hyphen Calculator”
I thought this week’s Apprentice was another relatively dull affair, lacking the clashes of egos or pearls of wisdom that make other episodes so great. Perhaps this episode, focussing on the business of beauty, could have done with a bit of a makeover itself.
Where better to start a task all about beauty than the British Museum? Well, anywhere really. Selfridges? The London College of Beauty? Boots? Unperturbed, Lord Sugar went about mixing up the teams. Zoe, who seems to lack a soul, presumably because she sold it to get on the show, was put in charge of Team Venture, whilst the similarly underwhelming Felicity was put in charge of Team Logic.
The teams then had to choose which beauty treatments they would be selling at their chosen Birmingham shopping centres. It is beyond me how, after seven series of the show, candidates still don’t realise they have to appear vaguely enthused by the products they’re shown. It’s practically Apprentice 101 (it’s just behind the ability to atonally chant Lord Sugar’s name on cue).
It was little surprise, therefore, that Zoe’s team won the spray tanning treatment, as the owners of the product presumably didn’t realise that Team Logic’s minute’s silence was a sign of respect. Team Zoe also went on to acquire a cold stone pedicure treatment, whilst Team Felicity went for the Lava Shell massage and hair curling.
Armed with their beauty products, the teams descended upon the unsuspecting shoppers of Birmingham. Susan Ma of Team Zoe, who’s “been selling skin care products for the last three years” (not that she ever mentions it) was particularly excited. But it quickly became apparent that she had enticed her leader into buying more products than they could possibly sell.
Team Felicity, however, was faring far worse. Tom, Melody and Ellie were left twiddling their thumbs in the salon for four hours whilst their team-mates forgot about them and focussed on selling ‘Lady Gaga hairclips’ to customers,
The rest of the challenge carried on largely the same. Whilst everyone ganged-up on Susan for her poor advice, her team always looked like winning. Leon, who had a good week, used his pinkie finger to come up with a kind of gypsy-grabbing style of selling, whilst his team also had a steady stream of people buying their treatments.
Felicity and her team failed to realise that the real money was in the treatments. One of their scarce few clients mused that a massage ‘usually leads to something else, doesn’t it?’ - Perhaps if the team had offered such services they would have managed to turn a profit. Or at least got a few more customers and appeased an especially grumpy Nick Hewer.
In fact, Nick was the star of this lacklustre episode. It was Nick who designated Tom ‘Mr Notebook-Calculator’ like he was channelling the acerbic wit of Oscar Wilde, and it was Nick who provided the hilarious, gurning backdrop to half of Team Logic’s transactions - which surely can’t have helped their sales figures.
When Team Logic inevitably ended up in the boardroom, with a terrible £246 loss to Team Venture’s £203 profit (which still upset Sugar) even the amazing Jim didn’t escape Nick’s line of fire. “I felt like the cavalry” Jim chirped, “Yes, it was fourteen pounds that you bravely hauled in” Nick scowled. Ouch.
It eventually came down to Ellie, Natasha (WHAT DO YOU DO!?) and Felicity. Frankly any of them could have gone, but when Felicity was outshone even by opposing team leader and serial dullard Zoe, Lord Sugar decided she had to go. Neither of her colleagues said goodbye, providing an ugly end to this foray into beauty.
You must log in to submit a comment.
