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James May's Toy Stories

James May Toy Stories
Tuesday, 14th June 2011

It is a great British tradition that things sometimes fail. The weather fails. Trains fail. And battery-powered toys fail. So, in keeping with this tradition, the sixth episode of James May’s Toy Stories series in 2009 featured a record-breaking attempt to build the world’s longest model railway track… which failed. Now, two years later, May is trying again with an episode entitled The Great Train Race. And as the saying goes: if at first you don’t succeed, just make another documentary…

The ultimate objective of Sunday night’s one hour special remained the same: for miniature trains to make it along the obsolete Barnstable to Bideford line in North Devon. A “chuffing long way,” as May puts it. Resurrecting the same episode again would be boring though, so there were some alterations. German train-set boffins, Gerrit Braun and Sebastian Drechsler, who we saw last time, were invited down to race against May’s British team. A transport race and a chance to gently mock German stereotypes? Hm, sounding a bit like That Other Show that May presents? This was a clever idea however – not only did it increase the probability of any trains actually making it to the end of the line, but by starting each team from opposite stations, it meant that the gathering crowds wouldn’t have to wait the entire day to catch a glimpse of a train. It also provided an opportunity for the excited audience to boo their German opponents pantomime-style. Huzzah!

Whilst the last series was rammed full of geeky facts, figures and stories about trains, The Great Train Race steamed ahead with more science, detailing the pitfalls of the previous attempt. It also gave the engineers their moment of fame as they grinned gleefully into the camera and wheeled out such inventions as the ‘track-o-matic,’ used to clip tiny track pieces together without pesky human interference. In a new twist, each team was allowed to run three trains: one steam locomotive, one diesel-electric, and one futuristic design with an alternative power source. For the German team, this meant the ‘Sauerkraut Screamer,’ which, frankly, speaks for itself, and for the British team, a man called Dr Ben – presumably tired of doing something useful with his PhD – gave us the snappily named ‘Hydrogen Fuel Cell Transport Solution.’

May, as ever, makes a thoroughly engaging presenter, delivering enthusiasm and pathos in abundance. “Look at it go!” he shouts joyfully, on watching a train trundle off down the line. “Look at it derail!” as the inevitable happens. I’m glad they decided to give this a second go; watching grown men shed tears over dismantled miniature engines adds an emotional, yet hilarious aspect to a Sunday evening. Furthermore, the intelligence and dedication of such programming makes it worth the license fee payers’ money, even if said money is used to buy miniature cardboard houses and train tracks. There was a rather tense finish to the show – mostly due to some expert editing and camera trickery, I’ll admit – but fortunately, this time all six trains made it across North Devon. And who won, the British or the Germans? You’ll have to watch it to find out…

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