Apprentice blog: Episode Ten

“Smelling What’s Selling”

What with Lord Sugar being a shrewd and enterprising individual (not that he likes to mention it) it is surely only a matter of time before a range of Apprentice merchandise hits the High Street. If this episode is anything to go by, then the ‘Smelling What’s Selling’ T-Shirt range will surely take pride of place amongst the ‘You’re Fired!’ foam fingers and Nick Hewer Halloween masks.

For this was the flatulent motto that Sugar wafted throughout this week’s episode. He gave the two teams a pallet of assorted items to sell on day one. Once they had smelled what had...selled, they had to reinvest their money in new stock for day two. Whichever team had the most money at the end, unusually counting both assets and revenue, would win.

There was a grate-off in this episode between the two team leaders as the irksome Natasha, this week in the guise of a gurning Artful Dodger, was in charge of Venture, whilst the continually irritating Melody led Team Logic.

Day One brought mixed success for both teams. Whilst Tom, eager to please his Lordship, was having unprecedented success selling (owing to the fact that children are rubbish at haggling), team- mates Melody and Helen were travelling around trying to sell wholesale goods at retail prices to shops – culminating in a particularly misguided visit to a pound shop.

For Venture, it was Susie who had been hit with the stupid stick as she travelled round Kensington attempting to sell cheapo duvets door-to-door. Jim, however, was selling snow to the Eskimos at Covent Garden- he’s coming good again at the right time. The man is relentlessly charming – even Nick seems to be warming to him.

With the final prize getting ever closer, there was a palpable sense of tension when reinvesting for day two. Natasha was being uncharacteristically cautious and Susie was taking a risk on some bracelets. The most shocking moment though, was when Helen asked Melody whether she could take over as Project Manager - a first for The Apprentice - as she feared for her perfect record. Melody duly declined.

Instead Melody had her team turn to selling the emergency phone chargers she had invested in. She then sent Helen on a four hour trip just to complete the sale of some duvet covers for a very small profit margin. Not good. Natasha was being similarly inept, as she ignored Jim’s advice to reinvest their money, even though that was the whole point of the task – so someone is impervious to his charms!

Heading back to the boardroom, it was a tough one to call. As it turned out, despite a £100 fine for Natasha’s refusal to reinvest in stock, her team had won – and Helen had finally lost a task. But the big boss was so unimpressed with Venture’s win he cancelled their treat (in a slightly-awkward-and- almost-certainly-pre-meditated kind of way). The ruthless bastard.

This left Tom, Melody and Helen in the firing line. With this being Helen’s first time in front of Sugar, she should have been bullet-proof. However, her ‘Coup in the Kitchen’ and her tactic of selling to retailers still led to Lord Alan thumbing her CV very heavily indeed. Ultimately Helen’s record meant it would be ridiculous for her to go, but this encounter certainly showed that she isn’t untouchable.

This left Tom, as usual, dangerously close to the exit. It didn’t help that he was being unrelentingly agreeable, accepting almost any fault that was ascribed to him- ‘exactly’ he continued to assent politely.

However, Lord Sugar was about to address the elephant in the room: Melody is annoying. Sure she may have business brains, she may have aggression, but Sugar doesn’t like her – or she’s not his ‘kind of person’, as he more politely phrased it. She had to go. It was ‘with regret’, but the fat lady had sung for Melody.

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