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It’s that time of year again and Louis Theroux is back. Fearing for his nose (“Well it does happen!”) and armed with his unique brand of nervous charm, impertinent questions and remarkably still-wet ears, he embarks upon America’s Most Dangerous Pets - a whirlwind tour of a few of America’s more eccentric collectors.
Minutes in, ‘wildlife’ park meets prison drama as the animals are thrust into “lockdown” in anticipation of impending tornado. “We’re gonna get prepared for the worst” the lackadaisical proclamation from the park’s owner - it’s all in a day’s work.
As the show goes on, one wonders if Theroux was really up for this. Maintaining a safe distance at all times (or trying to) and wincing at each unpredicted movement, he seems a little less than comfortable around the animals. “This is scary!” he squeals, mid-question, as a too affectionate tiger cub is peeled from his face. But, manfully, he battles on in his quest.
And they really are scary. Even with the sweetest temperament and most honourable intentions a full grown Siberian tiger is still a twenty-eight stone bag of muscle with spikes at most ends and a mind of its own. It’s quite a menacing thing to see one strolling along with an air of total nonchalance at the end of a lead.
In retrospect, perhaps his discomfort is more to do with the interviewees’ relationships with their ‘pets’: the need to train one’s animals to kiss people is something I do not understand. Manky dog breath aside, some of these creatures are downright bite-y.
And if the animals themselves amazed and astounded, you should meet the owners. From the man who trusts no-one (but fights wildcats & bathes with his baboon ‘daughter’) to a coven of monkey-lovers at a ‘pet’ care tutorial, they are a distinctly odd lot. But the real star of the show is the mulleted and moustachioed Joe Exotic. The ex-cop/pet store owner-cum-animal park warden and occasional magician is working on a repopulation project to safeguard against Earth’s apparently imminent running out of tigers. Not content with a collection comprising no fewer than 176 of the beasts, one of only a handful of ligers and possibly the world’s only teliger (female liger + male white tiger), Joe is currently trying to bring back the sabre-tooth… More news as this story develops. It’s not all just for show though – Joe’s an educator and, with the help of some hirsute associates, hopes to teach the American public to respect Russia, themselves and tigers, and that no matter who we are (bear, large cat, gonzo journalist ), we can get along.
Levity aside, the show underscored how little ordinary joes (and exotic ones) who keep these creatures actually know about them - as species and their needs in terms of care and nutrition (see chimps with a taste for junk food). Theroux gallantly pursued the classic questions- Are the animals happy? Are they pets for life? And is this ok? - to limited avail. Happy to introduce their novelty ‘neighbours‘, the owners falter at the last and none seemed quite sure of their position. Worryingly, the questions of contentment and quality of life seemed not to have occurred to some.
There’s an old theory that over time pets become more like their owners and vice versa. So what does that say for our hosts tonight? More impulsive? Less civilised? More pragmatic? Hairier? Or simply less compassionate…
Cue contemplative guilt.
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