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Let’s be honest, what didn’t happen in this week’s Downton Abbey? As time moved on to 1919, the war was neatly packed off in a truck, Ethel desperately tried to find a purpose to her character, Thomas had a bust-up with some flour, and Daisy forgot to taste her cake mixture. (Tut, tut.)
Now, the problem with this series’ time jumps has been that characters discuss the previous episode’s events as if they did actually happen last week, and not six months ago. This latest jump suggested that poor Branson had waited about two years for Lady Sybil to say yay or nay; luckily for him, she finally gave him an answer this week, and off they went. But Lady Mary wasn’t having any of it, and she, Edith and Anna went tearing after them, and found their illicit love-nest (she was fully clothed in the bed, he was fully clothed in the chair) by the powers of their supreme detection skills (the car was parked outside). Then, after a few seconds of negotiation, and Sybil berating Branson for thinking she would just go back to Downton after a bit of a talking-down… she went back to Downton with the intrepid trio. Never mind, hey, Branson?
This episode was also significant in that Lord Grantham got something to do other than moan that no one would let him play, as it was time for him to be led astray by Jane, a character so thinly drawn that she did all but lift her skirt in their first scene together. So, admitting to her that he’d lost his way, he swiftly thrust his tongue down her throat. Trust me, you won’t find it down there, mate.
Further speedy developments ensured that Master of the Withering Look Carson (the one he used during Lord Grantham’s breakfast was a personal best) could stay at Downton after all, as he disapproved that Carlisle had tried to enlist Anna to spy on Lady Mary, despite his claims that he just wanted to know more about her. Had Carlisle asked me, I’d have told him straight: She’s got a different personality every time you see her; she had a fling with a Turk, who popped his clogs as soon as they’d done the deed; and she also has penchants for singing, over-dramatic “thank Gods”, and collapsing against walls when no one’s looking.
It was also an eventful week for Matthew and, after such subtle suggestions that he might be feeling a tingling down below, we didn’t have to wait long for further developments. Picture the scene: Lavinia pushes Matthew into one of the living rooms. But oh no, the staff have taken the tea away but not the tray! Lavinia, do-gooding harlot that she is, says she’ll take the tray downstairs. But oh no, protests Matthew, it’s much too heavy! Come on Matthew, it’s a tray with a few plates on, small fry after pushing you around all day. So off she goes, but oh no, there’s a pouf in the way and she trips! Never fear, Matthew spontaneously leaps to her rescue, saving her, and the crockery, from certain death. Gosh, Matthew you can walk! Matthew ponders this and says ‘Well at least that means I can have some little Crawlers now. It’s who to have them with, that’s the question...’ Don’t you just love it when a plot comes together?
Phew, what a week! Somehow, next week’s finale looks like it’s going to be even busier, with Miss O’Brien on the cards for a comeuppance for you-know-what, and was that Lady Cora I saw on her death bed? I have a feeling things aren’t going to end well…
Don't miss the aforementioned finale on Sunday, ITV1, 9pm.
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