The X Factor blog: Semi-Final

If last week’s X Factor was the most annoying ever, then this week’s was surely the most pointless. As soon as it was announced that the result of this semi-final would go solely on public vote, they may as well have told us to buy ‘Sorry you’re leaving’ cards for Misha. But, despite the fact that her departure was signposted better than London on the M1, it didn’t stop them dragging out that results show did it? Good grief, it just went on and on – dull Dermot here, never-ending recap there. And then of course Justin Bieber gave us a new reason to hate Christmas, and Kelly Rowland pretended that ‘When Love Takes Over’ is some kind of anthem. (It’s not, love.) Thankfully, Saturday’s show was much better.

The main reason for this was that most of them even managed to sing in tune for both songs. Amelia particularly stood out, with her second song being nigh on perfect. And she’s managed to overcome Kitty Brucknell Syndrome easier than most of us get over a mild bout of Fresher’s Flu.

Little Mix were also very good, but that didn’t stop the judges hurling unfair amounts of criticism at them, with Gary and Kelly taking the opportunity to subtly boast about themselves. Kelly gave her usual criticisms; I can’t remember exactly what she said, but it was something about making the vocals tighter and not being as good as Destiny’s Child. While Gary basically said ‘You need a lead singer, you know, like Take That has with wonderful me.’ In case you didn’t realise, Gary annoys me. A lot.

He also proved to the nation that he is an utter hypocrite. After Marcus had sung (ahem) his second song, Gary was on his feet cheering and saying that it was practically perfect in every way (now that’s an idea for a theme: Mary Poppins Week!). But then, on Sunday, he said he was worried because the chirpy Scouser’s second song wasn’t as good. Even then he was being kind, because it was a travesty of a performance. He was out of tune, the production was laboured, and he kept going “woo” every other word. Incidentally, I was thinking of another word that rhymes with woo.

And when I tell you that I didn’t think his first song was much better (though it was the first sober version of it that I’ve heard), it won’t come as too much of a surprise to you that I thought Marcus should have gone this week. He is a talented karaoke singer (or perhaps Garyoke would be more appropriate…), who, unless he transplants his irrepressibly bubbly personality into the rest of us, is not going to change the world as we know it.

That said, I’m still glad that Misha’s gone as, despite her zany outfits and inconceivably malleable hair, she was a bit bland, with nothing really breath-taking in any of her performances. And Janet lost out because they saved her, and I am one for grudges where X Factor is concerned.

Next week, at last, it’s the final, which means that Louis will have to think up some different comments for everyone. But what treats (or tricks) are in store for us? An appearance from Simon? A group actually winning? We’ll have to wait and see. What I will say is that, in total, it’s four hours long, there will be back-slapping and endless revelations about how much winning means (everything, or the world, probably), and JLS and One Direction will be on again. Woo.

Add Comment

You must log in to submit a comment.