The big chocolate cheesecake

It’s every student’s nightmare. Your housemate’s family (siblings, grandparents and second cousin once removed included) are coming up for a few days, and it’s your job to impress them. You had a heavy one at Willow the night before, so your conversational skills might not be enough to carry you through. That hangover means you’re also not looking so great, so no wowing them with your dazzling beauty.

There’s only one thing for it: food. Now, Morrisons’ value digestive biscuits and a cup of tea aren’t quite going to cut it; it’s time to bring out the big guns. Or the big chocolate cheesecake, to be exact. It’s ridiculously simple to make, and doesn’t even involve using the oven. As well as that, it’s pretty cheap to make, and even tastes good with budget ingredients.

Basically, this cheesecake is guaranteed to make everybody love you. Although, if your housemate’s family visit frequently, you may want to use light cream cheese, as each slice has roughly a million calories.

Diet problems aside, it really is worth giving this cheesecake a shot. It’s easy, it’s cheap, and it tastes damn, damn good.

Ingredients:

• Base:

75g crushed digestive biscuits (these actually can be Morrisons value..)

75g crushed shortbread biscuits

5 tablespoons melted butter

3 tablespoons caster sugar

• Filling:

200g cream cheese

5 tablespoons caster sugar

100ml cream, whipped

• Topping:

200g dark chocolate

200ml double cream

Directions:

Find something to put the cheesecake in. A cake tin or casserole dish, or even a Tupperware box for those who rarely venture into the kitchen.

Mix together the biscuits, butter and sugar. Yes, it’s that easy. Place them into the dish and push them down to create a base. Then whack it in the fridge.

Now for the filling. This is slightly trickier. You have to beat the cream cheese and sugar together, then fold the cream in. Don’t worry though, folding is as hard as it gets.

Add this mixture to the top of the base, and put it all back in the fridge.

Finally, the topping. Heat up the double cream in a saucepan, and then pour over the dark chocolate. The cream will melt the chocolate, and you simply stir until you have a warm, chocolatey mixture. Yum.

Allow the mixture to cool slightly, and then pour it on top of the filling.

Pop it in the fridge, and take it out around 20 minutes before serving, so the chocolate topping can go a little gooey…

Now all is left to do is serve it up, with the optional extra of some vanilla ice cream (if you really want to impress!), smile politely, and bask in the glow of grateful faces and endless compliments. I would say that the leftovers make brilliant drunk food, but I’m afraid that from personal experience this is unlikely – you’ll be lucky if you get to lick the dish (or Tupperware!).

Good luck - not that you’ll need it!

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