Tom Eagles looks back on his Freshers' Week experience.
Blog and Comment Editor Harriet Jean Evans debunks some myths about Freshers' Week - and confirms a few.
Imagine this: you’ve been introduced to this person by a friend; you’ve had them introduce themselves and you’ve had them remind you of their name shouting over the music in a club. Yet, when you walk into an introductory lecture and discover they’re on your course, you find you can’t remember their name.
Issue? How many times can you ask their name before they’ll start getting offended?
This is Freshers’ Week – nobody is going to remember someone’s name the first time they’re told it and most will forget the second time as well. But if you’re worried that you’ve asked one too many times, there are other ways of finding out. I managed to start up an excellent flirtation with a guy, and then had to turn to the girl next to me once he’d left and ask what his name was. So you can ask mutual acquaintances. If you’re especially sly, you can sneak a look at anything of theirs that may have their name on – but check it is theirs and they’re just not keeping it for a friend, or it used to belong to a sibling. You can also take to hanging out with them a lot and just wait for them to introduce themselves to someone else. Sorted.
Right, now you’ve finally remembered their name – how long before you can add them on Facebook? Well, there’s really no rule for this. I guess the real question, is do you expect to see them often? Or even talk to them again? If the answer to these questions is yes, then go ahead and add them. However, if they’re someone you’ve met on a night out, be prepared for them to post something on your wall that you may not want everyone seeing. Things like “Ah, last time I saw you, you were drinking that cocktail off the table with a straw! Good times!” that you’d really rather not remember at all, let alone have broadcast to the world.
Which leads me to my next point. How much is it acceptable to drink in Freshers’ Week? Despite what you may think/have been told, getting absolutely plastered is not really the best manners. Not only are you liable to throw up over new acquaintances (this is only really acceptable once you’ve become friends proper – for a first week event, it can spell the end of your association) but, drink enough and you’ll put a downer on the night anyway. Nobody wants to spend one of their nights in Freshers’ Week looking after a person they’ve only just met and stopping them from making a fool of themselves/falling down stairs/getting arrested. My advice? Less is definitely more – and you’ll have better conversations.
There’s also the vital dilemma of how keen one should be on the “pulling scene” in this first week. Firstly, if you’re plastered, just don’t go there. For many, the appeal of “pulling” in Freshers’ Week is being able to boast about it – you can’t do that if you don’t remember it. Secondly, remember that some people are going to be a little bit vulnerable: not only is it bad manners to exploit this, even by university standards, but you don’t really want to get them into a dark corner, only to find they’re an emotional wreck who wants to talk about how homesick they are – in my opinion, it’d be better to leave any kind of romantic encounters to weeks when everyone’s a little more settled.
Back in the flat, there’s the unavoidable question about how acceptable it is to borrow milk/eggs/bread/salt etc or to use someone’s saucepan. The answer? Do you know them? Have you asked them? Will they mind? Basically, most kitchens will eventually operate on a “shared between friends basis”. But note, “eventually”. This isn’t going to happen straight away and some people are never going to be okay with it (I was never happy with people using my stuff, but was happy to share milk). In this first week, always ask. And if you’re borrowing somebody else’s kitchen utensil, remember to wash it. It may sound like common sense, but you’d be surprised at how many times people will go back to their rooms and forget about their washing up. It’s fine if it’s just theirs, but add your stuff to it as well and it can get to be very annoying.
Finally, on the etiquette of invading peoples’ rooms during this first week, there is only really one thing to say: is their door propped open? If it is, that’s usually an invitation to go in and say hi; nine times out of ten that’ll be why they left it like that. If the door is shut, only knock if you have to. In this first week, a shut door can mean three things: they don’t want to talk, they’re not in or they’re in having an ill-advised romantic encounter: any way, knocking is going to be awkward.
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