23rd January
latest news: Anna's sweet and sticky pork buns

Arts Sections

Music
Performing Arts
Film
Art and Literature
Arts Features and Multimedia
TV
Games
Original Work

Latest articles from this section

El Camino

The Black Keys - El Camino

Sunday, 11th December 2011

James Arden checks out the garage rockers latest album.

The Black Keys

The Week in Music

Tuesday, 6th December 2011

Your guide to the musical happenings of week 9

Phatfish

Phatfish Review - The Duchess, 2/12

Monday, 5th December 2011

The Christian rock band from Brighton bring religion to the masses.

Kelly Rowland

Kelly Rowland - Here I Am

Sunday, 4th December 2011

Recipe for modern R'n'B album: liberal helpings of guest rappers and an overdose of sexual euphemisms.

More articles from this section

The Drums
Ringo Deathstarr
PJ Harvey
Cassette tapes

Singles Club

Wed, 30th Nov 11
jb underthemistletoe
Here and Now
James Blake
Future of the Left
The Blanks

The Midweek Chart Reminder

Madonna better
Madonna - Queen of the Charts. Cartoon: Helen Graham
Thursday, 15th May 2008
Studenty types are regularly accused of being out of touch with the real world. With the world of the music of the people - the institution that is the UK singles chart - moving at such a lightning-fast pace, it's helpful to take a break in the cut and thrust of midweek to reflect on the revelations that last Sunday's top 5 brought...

1. Madonna ft Justin Timberlake - 4 Minutes

The UK's official number 1, and one of a slew of 'ft' songs in this weeks top five. Calm down economics students, this isn't the result of an effort by your favorite venerable newspaper to cut its way into pop culture. Rather it is the sound of three established (read:old) artists gripping young talent with their wizened hands and forcing $100 bills into their trousers until they agree to get into the studio (except for Cheryl Cole - but more on that later). In this case the Bride of Dracula herself has come up with a Grade A Blood Doner quality product which she can spray all over the dancefloor. Just think, though, of all the poor deprived young female artists this mutated-brass led stomper could have gone to...

2. Wiley - Wearing My Rolex

This, however, is a different kettle of fish. With a catchy repetitive nature that ensures in a few weeks it will be universally hated, Rolex is nevertheless the best tune currently on the Gallery playlist. If you don't love it yet, one glance at this tasteful fan-made video is sure to give it a place in your heart. Remember Paul, as the great man might have said: "All women are crazy, some are just more crazy than others."

3. Sam Sparro - Black and Gold

As the world turns towards a food production disaster whilst simultaneously advertising becomes sneakier, with viral ads popping up all over the shop, Sam Sparro provides the first connection between the two. Distinct "Black and Gold" branding? A worry that he's lacking in energy - "Now I'm looking for a reason why / You even set my world into motion" - followed by a restless energy tinged with paranoia - "I looked up into the grey sky / And see a thousand eyes staring back"? It's clear that the most stylish representative of Nescafe has been sent to wrestle the 'enjoys shiny but generic electro pop' demographic away from Kenco - the new raver's caffeinated beverage of choice.

4. Will.I.Am ft. Cheryl Cole - Heartbreaker

A double barreled 'ft.' to finish - with Cheryl Cole's three lines in this song stretching the meaning of 'featuring' to such extents that Will.I.Am's next single could easily be by "Will.I.Am ft his crackly little beard and Nike trainers". Given that most Black Eyed Peas tunes could also be relabeled Will.I.Am ft Fergie and the Other Ones, this is predictably turgid. Most of the excitement here comes from Cheryl, who recorded this song during her extended break from Ashley "nasty rumours" Cole. Can you hear the emotion of recording a song about heartbreak on a sojourn from a cheating husband flowing through her performance? Of course not.

5. Usher ft Young Jeezy - Love in this Club

There's little more that can be said about this song than already has been here; a trailblazing deconstruction of a pop song by Peter Robinson. Otherwise this appears to be just another step on the road for Usher to become R Kelly. All that's missing is charges for sex offending, more songs on the subject of 'oneself finding things difficult but getting through them because one is good like that' and, of course, the touch of postmodern genius that it's Trapped in the Closet. Until then, Mr Usher, you're not going to get away with this innovation-less sub-club balladry.

Check out The Yorker's Twitter account for all the latest news Go to The Yorker's Fan Page on Facebook
#1 Richard Mitchell
Thu, 15th May 2008 6:48pm

lol that video's awesome.

Great idea for an article, I'm so out of touch with the charts - pretty much only hear about new music through friends or last.fm. Will it become a regular feature?

Add Comment

You must log in to submit a comment.