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'If you don’t have any shadows, you’re not standing in the light' - Lady Gaga
Drag queens, nuns, giant fish, pyrotechnics, vomiting, blood, guts, twisters, rotating orbs, tin-foil, glitter, sparkles, and tassels: Lady Gaga knows a good glamour-phonic, electronic disco when she sees one. Friday 4th June at Sheffield Hallam FM Arena saw the crazy lady at her finest; armed with her disco-stick, from beginning to end her spectacle was nothing short of impressive. The show took the shape of a modern-day opera, with the backdrop changing as many times as she changed costume (15 times to be precise).
The lights suddenly dim, the crowd is thick with anticipation, and suddenly she’s there - so close you could almost touch her. The projection screen lifts to reveal a gangster-esque New York alley backdrop with props galore and flashy neon signs. After one song, the lustrous princess wanders idly over to the on-stage clapped-out banger (think Only Fools and Horses) and proceeds to play the electronic piano. This is not just any piano, it is a piano which has been carefully concealed in the bonnet of the Trotter mobile... simply genius. The synthesisers start, the light show commences and we’re about to ‘Just Dance’.
The whole show tells a story; a group of friends who set off from New York in search of The Monster Ball. Each set represents an aspect of the journey. From ‘New York’ we take the metro and end up in a very strange and ‘Foreign Place’, a ‘Twister’ then whips the audience up into a frenzy and reveals an eccentrically enchanted forest with an angel-statue that bleeds eternally. We then find ourselves lost and alone in the dark; the terrified friends have all legged-it. We come face-to-face with the ‘Monster’ itself: a 30 ft, ugly, glow-in-the-dark fish! Yes, a fish. The final destination is The Monster Ball; a refuge for the weird and wonderful with pumping electronic beats, brilliant red strobe lights and a tin-foiled-to-the-max origami Gaga in her famous rotating metal orb.
Her outfits are the work of Beauty itself and not a Kermit in sight. Love her, hate her, that girl has real balls to get up in front of 15,000 wearing nothing more than a bikini, killer heels and a fabulous blonde wig. Ensemble of the night goes to the epic fairy outfit with self-moving wings and a headpiece, with a beautiful white froufrou crystal train. She looked remarkably elegant. Second place goes to the Sesame Street inspired hairy (tassel) get-up, which revealed a sparkly leotard with strategically placed patches of blonde hair on her delicates.
The normally elusive Gaga chatted casually with her fans, smiling constantly, and made light on the constant ‘is it a man?’ rumour. On TV she is often depicted as awkward and occasionally bizarre; with her fans it was a completely different kettle of fish. She was relaxed and positively beautiful. Her make-up was toned-down by her standards, but her body language said it all: ‘I am Gaga, and I am sexy and amazing’. Throughout the show you couldn’t help but notice the presence of her best mate Posh, a Grace Jones-meets-drag-queen-type figure. He appeared in the middle of every set, with a tambourine on each arm, swirling his arms around and perfecting his cat-walk in 5 inch S & M black PVC boots with a PVC Borat-style Man-kini. She does attract them!
Vocal wise, the diminutive star was note-perfect and has a superb vocal range. Very few people can sing that well whilst hurling themselves into a series of pornographic positions on stage. I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up when she performed ‘Speechless’ acoustically. To top it all off she performed sections of the song playing the piano with her custom-made Louboutin boots.
At £28-a-ticket, it really is a snip for two hours of unadulterated Gaga-concentrate. It is hard to put a label on it; can you really define perfection? The Monster Ball Tour is a combination of incredible light displays, impressive stage design, all topped off with Gaga’s superb vocal abilities and expressive style. Fireworked-breasts and all, if, like me, you’re a ‘free bitch’, this show will be the most amazing thing you will EVER see!
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