Copping off with a few 20 year old boys who have girlfriends doesn't really constitute being a mistress though, does it?
This should be written by someone with actual experience.

Not really a mistress, just a girl who shags other girls' boyfriends for fun. There's a word for that, but it's not 'mistress'...

Having said that, in the long-run you probably do them a favour by exposing what complete shits their boyfriends are. So thanks for providing a public service, I guess.

This is vile. How would you feel if you had a boyfriend and he was cheating on you? Perhaps you wouldn't be so keen to glorify "the other woman" then.

#2,Yeah, I think the word's pathetic?

At the end of the day it's not your problem it's the problem of the person in the relationship. That said, I think if you really have something going with someone and you fall for each other that can't be helped but being the random drunk shag is unfair.

Besides the fact that you've just created a problem for some other girl, if the guy wants to sleep with someone else he should do the decent thing and end the relationship he's currently in, rather than commit quite a substantial personal betrayel.
Personally, I wouldn't be happy with being a 'mistress' because I would know full well the guy was a dishonest, disloyal shithead.

The fact that you're willing to sleep with guys you know are dicks says more about you than about the guys.

While generally I think there is a problem with women being labelled 'homewreckers' with no equivalent for men, if you're willingly engaging in something you know is going to destroy a relationship, that makes you a terrible, selfish person (unless, as #4 states, there are real feelings which in the long-term will lead to something more valuable - but even then, you should end the relationship that's not working before you start something new). Every time you spread your legs because you're bored, you're giving some weak-willed drunk guy an opportunity (which he'll probably regret in the morning) and affirming that it's OK to betray and be disloyal in general.

On the other hand, I sort of think this article is fake and just wants to create a comment uproar to get more hits, which is really sad - rather than having actual quality writing, you're stooping pretty low here.

"Why do it then? Well, why the hell not?"

Because it's just a horrible and shitty thing to do. Sorry, but I don't really see how there's a grey area here. I've had friends who's boyfriends have cheated - we all have I'm sure - and the after-effects can be upsetting for everyone involved. It's not just the fact that cheating can ruin a relationship - it's the way being cheated on can impact people's self-confidence, affect their trust with partners in future relationships and cause a great deal of damage emotionally to boot. Either you can't fully understand the impact your actions are causing, or you just don't seem to care. I'm hard pressed to decide which is worse. If you're happily and knowingly doing something that causes upset to someone else that's wrong. Yes, the guy is probably a shithead who deserves his girlfriend to find out and dump him - that doesn't mean you're doing her a favour.

"I think being a mistress is perfect for someone like me, with my astounding fear of commitment and strong desire for constant excitement. It gives me all the benefits of usual hook-ups, without the negatives of the ‘talk’ about where things are going." Last time I checked you could still go for unattached guys without things being pushed to go somewhere. It is the 21st century, after all.

"Be it one kiss, or a few weeks of hook-ups, you always know the end result is going to be nothing." Yes, for you. You're right that being 'the other woman' means you're not the one doing the cheating, but that isn't a reason to feel less guilty or escape blame. It just means you get to walk away from a relationship that's been potentially ruined by your actions relatively unscathed. Maybe the end result for you *is* nothing, but I'm not sure you could really say the same for the man you're cheating with, or his potentially devastated girlfriend.

Can you honestly say that if your boyfriend cheated, you wouldn't lay any blame at the other woman's door? Maybe I'm being old-fashioned here, but I don't think being the unattached party is an excuse to go around doing things that potentially hurt other people, just so you can have a bit of excitement.

Wow. Another boring, unoriginal blog from Roxy. Moving on.

• Fri, 18th Mar 2011 8:12pm - Edited by the author
• Fri, 18th Mar 2011 8:12pm - Edited by the author (less)

• Fri, 18th Mar 2011 8:12pm - Edited by the author (1 more)

I completely agree with #7. Being someone who has experienced the pain of the person I was with getting involved with another person and cheating on me, which led directly to our break-up, I find anyone suggesting that going for someone that you know is already in a relationship purely self serving, self centred and selfish, with no regards for other's feelings.

I'm sorry, but this is utter bilge.
Sure, the men who are in the relationship deserve to be blamed for betraying their partners. However, why on earth do you feel that you should be blameless for colluding in and enabling that betrayal?
Too many men cheat, but you know what? They wouldn't be able to do so without girls like you.
"if it wasn’t me, it would probably just be another girl." Absolutely, another girl with a lack of self-respect; why don't you want to be better than that?
"with my astounding fear of commitment and strong desire for constant excitement" It reads as though you're chasing men who are already taken in order to avoid not just commitment, but rejection too: if the guy doesn't want you it's because he's attached and because of any problems with you right? Clearly you have some problems, and that in itself is fine.
However, I fail to see how that means that you have the right to go around inflicting problems upon other people just to make yourself feel better.
If your statement about the devastation that you would feel if you were cheated on is even slightly sincere, you would surely never wish those feelings on somebody else, let alone go around wilfully inflicting them to alleviate your boredom.
This entire article is abhorrent.

Theres a lot of single guys out there that have ended relationships due to the temptation. Maybe they have spared their ex partner the agony of being cheated on. And maybe they're the guys Roxy should be aiming for. This doesn't mean to say that these guys are bad people, if anything they're considerate as they don't share the same emotional attachment as their counterparts. Shag them for fun, don't ruin a relationships based on drunk temptation

Who is this Roxy? I'd like to meet her.. Guess I wouldn't qualify as i'm single, however.

Gillian "This reads like a drunken diary entry."

You've stumbled upon this site's main criteria for publishing a sex-comment article.

Have any of you people ever cheated on your other-half? If you had, you'd realise that you, and only you, are responsible for your actions.

#7 "Can you honestly say that if your boyfriend cheated, you wouldn't lay any blame at the other woman's door?"

Maybe this is just me, but I wouldn't. If my boyfriend ever cheated on me, I'd realise that the problem lay with him and whatever issues he's having - equally, I cheated once and I take full responsibility for that incident. Just because someone wants to hook up with you, doesn't mean you can blame them for your actions. If people cheat, it's their own responsibility, blaming the other person is allowing yourself an easy way out. It's taken me a while to come to terms with my responsibility - it would have been easy for me to skew the incident as the guy's fault - but in the end I had to accept that I was in the wrong, and however much respect I lost for the other guy in his actions, if I hadn't been so stupidly lacking self-restraint at the time, the incident would not have happened, regardless of whatever temptation the other people might offer.

#15, while I fully understand your sentiments and agree wholeheartedly in taking responsibility for one's actions, deliberately hooking up with someone you know is attached (for a laugh, no less!) is still a crappy thing to do.

#15 Ever heard of enabling behaviour, or being a party to another person's misery?

What this article boils down to is that you don't give a damn about the effects of your actions on others and the character of the guys you sleep with. This says a lot about your own character. For your own sake, I hope it's just sensationalist barrel-scraping. If not, I'm curious as to where you would draw the line? You've made it clear you're willing to shag dishonest cowards and back-stabbers. I'm just wondering how low your standards actually are.

I'm kind of aware of magazine titles that are sub-Heat level in terms of lifestyle commentary and I'm guessing Roxy is positioning herself in the professional writing market because it's easy and because you can operate on a little-but-often basis in terms of a middle income! If you track back over Roxy's blogs, you can see she is not often writing about herself, as her musings over her personal life often contradict each other and the timelines she sets out do not fit or connect between articles. I'll bet she's a quiet sort of girl, and fairly decent. It has to be said, however, that York can do a great, great deal better than this in terms of writing.

I agree with Roxy that the guys should be the one getting the blame, I'm not saying the girl he's cheating with should get off free, but he needs to man up to what he's done. If he can't, then he shouldn't have done it in the first place.

Also, can i point out Roxy doesn't actually say anything about 'shagging' or about going out purposefully to seek taken guys.

• Tue, 22nd Mar 2011 3:51pm - Edited by the author

#19 you're an idiot. Why exactly shouldn't the girl "man up" too? Also, the fact that she doesn't seek taken guys doesn't excuse her if she ends up with one. That's like saying someone who murders someone in the heat of the moment isn't as bad as someone who premeditates the crime. The sentence is just as severe.