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Think about home and most of you will think of the house you grew up in, your parents, memories or things you typically do there.
Clearly the concept of ‘my house/room’ is not synonymous with the concept of my home.
It intrigues me now that being at university, home has changed. Or has it? You can either see the student accommodation you live in or the house you might share with your friends as 'an extended business trip' as a friend of mine calls it; or the home you return to as shelter from your day-to-day life. Why do such thoughts matter?
Being one of those students who shed a tear when they leave York, and when they leave 'home', I found it extremely difficult to accept that home is not a place. In my own cheesy words: home is where I feel comfortable - wherever that is. Clearly the concept of ‘my house/room’ is not synonymous with the concept of my home.
What I am trying to say is that home is not a physical place but a state of mind.
Before you dismiss this, you should know I was one of those kids whose parents moved every couple of years to another country - Argentina, Spain, Austria, Mexico, and Austria. Being Austrian you would think that 'home' would be Austria - after all, my family lives there. But as soon as I returned I found the Austrian mentality too narrow-minded, myself a little too loud to fit in, and felt a strong wish to leave.
Watching Garden State, I smirked to myself when the main character said that although home didn’t exist any more as a place he could physically go to, at least it should exist as a place in one’s mind; a memory or wish which several people hold on to. Although a rather negative explanation, that’s exactly it: a place we cherish for feeling comfortable.
I found myself in the position of the main character in Garden State - longing for a place far from where I was. To feel at home can be simply sitting back, and enjoying a moment – regardless of where you are.
When considering the concept of home, you generally have a collection of sentimental kitschy one-liners and sayings which evoke childhood memories and all the warm fuzzies that they entail. Needless to say, the idea of home being 'where you hang your hat' must be a slight (if not a complete) simplification. As a first year student, the idea of home is an interesting one to discuss, as by far the majority of us have left ‘home’ (whatever that is), family, friends and our usual setting for university.
When asked the question of what home is, I knew that I might have an atypical answer. I certainly have a background that might confuse me on that count. I have lived in a few places, come from even more countries, and have family living in six countries across four continents. That considered, I am quite lucky in that I actually have a house/home, which I have lived in for the last six years.
Before I left Thailand, I had a group of friends, a loving family, a house, dogs - the whole set. I would without a doubt have told you that Thailand was my home. Now, my friends have moved across the globe for university, my parents have moved to another city, but the house and the dogs are still there.
Interestingly, when I went back over Easter, it felt strange -despite being used to the setting, despite loving and missing the culture the places - it did not quite feel like home. The obvious answer was that my friends, my family, the context and setting which I had considered my home had now changed. The house was still there but not the people or old friends, not the interaction or the sense of belonging to a group of people.
Where would I now say home is?
If you ask me I’ll say Thailand, or maybe university if I think it will require less explanation, but the honest answer is I’m not too sure. The question is still pending in my mind. I have wonderful friends here, but I do not yet know if I can say I’ve reached the point where I feel I have my place in university. It is not about people knowing the 'real me' (if there is even such a thing), it is a community of people comfortable to be themselves.
Maybe the key word is being comfortable.
Yet, I think that I will find my idea of home changing and evolving as I grow up and move on from university. Maybe that is what growing up is.
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