Harriet Jean Evans takes a look at the social commentary of the past, and explains why she believes it just doesn't matter.
Our anonymous blogger reflects on her attempts to have a student Christmas... and how she came to the conclusion that home-made is always best.
Gillian Love urges you to vote 'No' to the motion to replace Women's Committee with a 'Gender Equality Committee'.
Monday
Uni Freshers’ Week: Meet your STYCs. You may see them of an evening during this week; expect never to see them again thereafter. Go out on a bar-crawl; cue awkward dancing with people you don’t know and drinking just out of embarrassment. Also available: Film night in your JCR. Not much chance for socialising (some people are actually there to watch a film).
Alternative Freshers’ Week: Go to Your:Shop and find out how much you’d have to buy to equal Brian Cantor’s expenses. Then sit and gorge on the pick’n’mix.
Tuesday
UFW: School disco. Try to get an outfit together; feel stupid you didn’t bring your old sixth form clothes with you (like the person next door, who brought 6 fancy-dress possibilities). Get pissed on VKs and cider, have a fumble which ends in disappointment; very much a reminder of every other school disco you’ve been to. Also available: Pizza night in your JCR. But you have to bring your own pizza. And drinks.
AFW: Set up a goose Olympics, you say? Can it be done? Whoever manages to whip those birds into line truly has Jedi mind skills.
Wednesday
UFW: Decide to take a night off, as do a few flatmates. End up playing ring of fire and swimming in the lake. Trip to A&E for algae poisoning.
AFW: Choose the most vulnerable flatmate. Carefully remove all of their cooking utensils from their cupboard and place them in awkward and potentially dirty places. Do this each time they replace their stuff; wait and see how long it takes to destroy their mind.
Thursday
UFW: Freshers’ Ball. Put on your glad rags, head to York Racecourse, worry about how much you had to spend on the ticket; when you arrive spend most of the time losing and re-finding your flatmates (you have no idea who anyone else is). Spend on average 45 minutes waiting at the bar each time you get thirsty. Also available: Nothing. Who doesn’t want to go to the ball? Saddo.
AFW: Also go to the racecourse, but do wheelbarrow races around the course. Pick someone with strong arms – that course is long.
Friday
UFW: Big Bang. A big act is lined up, but fails to arrive. Stuck listening to the Cheeky Girls instead. Decide it’s too cold to walk all the way to Alcuin for the silent disco. Go home disappointed. Also available: Non-alcoholic cocktail making in your JCR. Bring your own fruit. And blenders.
AFW: By now you’ll know which of your flatmates are OK and which aren’t. Find an ally and compile a list. Plan ahead: Creepy Flatmate Avoidance is best executed with forward-planning. Sneak out with your group of super-cool mates and leave the weird ones. Hey, it’s survival of the fittest.
Weekend
Too tired or ill to venture outside. Decide it’s time to actually start your degree, since it’s costing you more than you’ll actually earn in a year once you get a job.
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