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The X Factor is funny, but there are only so many times you can watch an ugly thirty-something gurgle a shanty in the key of Z-flat and storm off in a huff when Simon Cowell suggests that she might not, in fact, be the new Lady Gaga. Plus, by the time the qualifying rounds are over all the fruitbaskets have been weeded out, leaving a drab team of bores. In BGT, by contrast, acts are regularly put through based on cuteness, geriatricity, and pure unabashed whimsy, meaning that by the time the semis roll around there is still just about enough reason to tune in.
I’m not going to talk about the acts, however (although rest assured they are terrible, from the Britney Spears impersonator to the old grandfather who forgets where to come in and can’t hear a thing the judges are saying to him) but instead about the allegations of foul play that have come from deep within Simon Cowell’s company, SYCO, a subsidiary of Sony Music.
Accusations of fixing on shows like this are hardly novel but this particular whistleblower goes a lot further with his revelations, claiming that 12-year-old judges’ favourite Ronan Parke has a pre-existing contract with SYCO and has already been selected as the overall winner. The story goes that Ronan was spotted two years ago singing at a footballer’s birthday party and invited to audition without queuing at BGT’09. Nerves got the better of him then but Cowell pinned him to a one-sided contract and spent two years working on his voice, look and personality until he was finally judged ready to be unleashed on the public.
Everything was planned, down to the very last detail – apparently even Louis Walsh’s line at the first audition, “Ronan Parke, remember that name, this kid’s gonna be a star”, was prewritten by the production gallery. Cowell hopes that winning Britain’s Got Talent will be a big enough launchpad to crack the lucrative American pre-teen “Bieber market”, and earn SYCO millions in the few years before his voice breaks and he is left to rot.
The original story broke here, but the article was taken down “due to a claim from Simco Limited ("Syco") and Sony Music Entertainment UK Limited ("Sony"). Ugly stuff. ITV are of course denying everything, but tune in on Saturday to see if the whistleblower’s claims are true. And if not, I’m sure there’ll be someone ridiculous to laugh at.
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