James Metcalf on the fictionality of the latest archaeological page-turners
Stephen Puddicombe looks at the unusual appeal of Samuel Beckett's Waiting for Godot
Ciaran Rafferty investigates the science of book classification
1. Gandalf is always right. Always. Trust him.
2. If there is one person whose life you should aspire to have, it is Tom Bombadil's.
3. It is impossible for any meeting, council or conversation to take place without somebody reciting some ancient song or poem, usually one that goes on for several pages. These should not be skim-read or skipped as they are essential to understanding the plot which would make no sense at all without them.
4. One does not simply walk into Mordor.
5. Women are largely irrelevant when it comes to the great adventures that shape Middle Earth, unless of course they can provide a compelling love interest in a film adaptation.
6.There is nothing, I repeat NOTHING funny about the fact that there is a servant working at The Prancing Pony called "Nob." Anyone who giggles at this while reading the book is being puerile and belittling the importance and grandeur of such a seminal work of fiction. (On the other hand...hur hur, it says "Nob.")
7.Four hobbits who seem to spend most of their life eating, drinking and lazing about The Shire still appear to have the fitness required to hike and climb mountains with an experienced ranger, a soldier of Gondor, an elven prince, a dwarfish warrior and a magical wizard.
8. To save the trouble of having to actually work out who is good or evil, the world generally divides itself up nice and obviously. While the goodies will always have friendly, jolly beards, wear magnificent and beautiful armour and live in pleasant, delightful surroundings, the baddies will always be horrendously ugly, clad head to toe in dirty black garments and will live in somewhere akin to Dante's vision of Hell. This makes it very easy to tell who you should shoot your arrows at in a battle.
9. It is perfectly reasonable for Frodo and Sam to share a highly charged homoerotic relationship throughout the books, only for it to end with Sam marrying the buxom barmaid upon his return home. Because it was always so obvious that he was straight...
10.Nobody (except Aragorn) may toss a dwarf.
haha
Hahahah died laughing at 4
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