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1. A word can never have too many ‘y’ or ‘e’ letters in it.
2. Farting can actually be important and integral in a key piece of literature that has defined English literature as we know it.
3. The wife of Bath is most certainly not a MILF.
4. To be a model wife, when your husband asks you to give over your child so he can kill it, your reaction is to meekly accept. Saying “what the hell do you think you’re doing” is a typical overreaction from bad women.
5. “Weilawey” is a perfectly normal and acceptable thing to say when in woe or if you are the Wife of Bath’s husband.
6. If you want to commit adultery, the best way to do this is to persuade your intended target’s husband that a flood is imminent. Sixty per cent of the time it works every time
7. The fact that the Miller is ginger is not proof that gingers were considered weird in Medieval England as well. Mentioning the aforementioned idea will draw nervous laughter from your seminar friends and a “what is wrong with you” by your tutor.
8. There is no such thing as ‘the great vowel shift’ in Middle English literature. It is a cruel trick played by Medieval English lecturers who wish to amuse themselves by watching students trip over their tongues trying to pronounce ‘knyght’ properly.
9. When trying to explain The Pardoner’s Tale to friends you, in any circumstances must not go: “it’s kind of like that weird tale in the the seventh Harry Potter book”, because then people read the Pardoner’s Tale and find out that is not like Harry Potter and become confused.
10. You don’t need a proper ending. Endings are overrated in literature anyway. Who needs a conclusion?
"sixty per cent of the time it works every time"? I'm a little bit hungover and that just made my head hurt. Chuckles at number 3 though.
The Wife of Bath's tale taught me that even if your wife is beautiful, she's still a witch underneath it all
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