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Shunning the part-time slog: most random ways to make money

Nudity
Sketches of The Yorker's traumatic posing day
Monday, 26th November 2007
If you want to avoid the dreaded part-time job, then the answers are here, as The Yorker investigates the most random ways to shun the life of the minimum wage slave. A wise man once said, "the love of money is the root of all evil." Well sod that! York: make me rich!

1. Be a guinea pig

Mad scientist
A member of the psychology department?

York has one of the top Psychology departments in the country. Experiments go on all year long in disciplines as diverse and inaccessible as "dynamic visual processing, age of acquisition effects and hemisphere specialisation" (don't ask because we don't know).

Luckily, ethical guidelines and health and safety laws mean that experiments are no longer like a day trip to Guantanamo bay. Innocent victims no longer have their lives scarred in the name of science. How boring.

Our intrepid explorer signed up for "Jakke's alien objects and/or words experiment" with the promise of £2 for every half hour plus a massive £2 bonus. I was also intigued about these alleged "alien objects."

The Yorker quivered with excitement at the prospect of meeting a mad scientist in a long white jacket but alas! Quiet and prim experimenter Jakke Tamminen wears a patterned woolly jumper.

He is delightful all the same and for obvious reasons we won’t reveal any details of his experiment. But we can divulge that we were definitely NOT stripped, tied up and zapped with electrodes if that's any compensation.

A couple of hours of boredom later and success! Our first £8.

  • Pros: The department is on campus by James college. You'll sit indoors in a nice warm office and all that's required is attention.
  • Cons: It's unspeakably dull darling. Signing up for PEEBS results in a bombardment of e-mails, mostly from an obscure individual known only as "Cindy."

The psychology electronic experiment booking system, or PEEBS, can be found at www.york.ac.uk/psychology/experiments

2. Work Hard

Books
Me? Work? At University?

It sounds unorthodox but working hard on your degree can be a nice little earner, and we're not talking about future prospects. Most departments have internal competitions with cash prizes. Details should be forthcoming with a demanding e-mail to those who run your subject of choice.

The Yorker elected to harass a Philosophy department that was rather suspicious, perhaps because its students tend to show the same energy levels as an opium stuffed eighteenth century poet. And lo! The response was thus:

First Year Prize - £50 book token to the student with the best performance overall.

2nd year prize - £100 book token to the student with the best mark on a Philosophy module that year.

Logic Prize - £75 book token to the student with the best performance on the module 'Reason & Argument'.

"How charming is divine philosophy" indeed. The idea of course, is to reward high achievers. What would Aristotle say? I don't know either, but if you do maybe you should apply for a prize. At the end of the day the message from the university is the usual one: get off your arse and do some work.

  • Pros: Although a novel idea, working hard might actually help you get a better degree. Might look good on a CV.
  • Cons: It's a lot of effort and let's face it there's probably somebody better than you. What are you supposed to do with effing book tokens? Read? Most people at York seem to be scarred with some kind of childhood bullying over being a geek. I'd hate to be responsible for a relapse into long forgotten traumas.

3. "Life drawing"

Nudity
The emperor's new clothes

We know you clicked this article for the naughty pics, but aren't we above that? I thought not. It's on the right: and very complimentary too. Studio 58 is a life drawing class that launched this summer at The Old School, Wiggington.

"The dignity of the model is paramount to us" stresses Patrick Smith, the fine artist who runs the sessions. He concedes that mine may have been slightly compromised when his pet dog invades the studio and licks my toes, although that's strangely pleasurable.

The students are a friendly mix and it's a relaxed atmosphere. From the opening moments Patrick enthuses that I'm "a natural!" and before long I genuinely forget that I'm starkers.

Holding a pose for twenty minutes or so proves to be physically demanding but the big surprise is that it's actually quite fun. Also, free coffee and biscuits. But can we be serious? £20 for two hours work speaks for itself. Ch£r-ching!

  • Pros: You're a student: be open minded and seek out these liberating experiences! It's a great rate of pay and most places will let you read on the job, meaning you can get a bit of course work out of the way. The artistes tend to be fairly open minded and with a polite request you could even return home claiming you've done a "self-portrait."
  • Cons: Let's face it, if you’re the slightest bit insecure about your body this may not be for you.

More info at www.studio58.org.uk

4. Carolling

father xmas
'tis the season to be jolly

Are you an undiscovered talent who should have applied for the X-Factor? Then start making that silken voice pay and get carol singing in the build up to Christmas.

Busking licenses are free and we suspect that the council's panel of judges is less discerning than Simon Cowell. It's the only explanation for that violin-playing nutter with the devil puppet who frequents Ousegate. Let's face it; York is crammed with pensioners and tourists who'll throw a quid at you just for the sheer thrill.

Becky Chilton, a third-year music student whose 'instrument' is her voice, is a veteran caroller. "We did it last year for charity" she tells us without a blink. "This year there are four of us who are going out around the Minster. You can get around £20 each per hour because it's so busy with Christmas shopping."

But how many choirs is she involved with? "Eight in York" she declares joyfully. Not a blink. It seems York council laughs in the face of Simon Cowell.

  • Pros: An attractive potential wage if you're any good. You can absorb the holiday spirit out in the open air.
  • Cons: The open air is cold in York! Pay is variable and dependent on talent, not just yours but that of the competition, which happens to be charity groups. Can you really take from them at Christmas time? I can almost feel the sign of the cross being seared across my face for even suggesting it.

5. Books

books
Books: lucrative

"Books" said David Hume, "must sell themselves to succeed." And so must you. Sell books that is, not yourself. Sadly, Your:Books is set to close as its turnover has been stifled by online competition. Whilst Your:Books offer 45% of the original RRP for a second hand book, websites such as Amazon marketplace allow customers to set the price of each item they put up for sale. Such is the free market.

But in defiance of the ways of this cruel world, and also because my internet connection was bust, The Yorker stuck with tradition and paid a last, tearful visit to Your:Books. A battered copy of the Norton Anthology of Poetry earns us the princely sum of £9.

  • Pros: Almost every subject requires course books and these can be bloody expensive, so why not reclaim a bit of that outlay?
  • Cons: The effort and cost of posting and packaging several bulky text books. Also, what if you need to look up the standard atomic weight of Polonium at short notice?

Do you know of any more random ways to make money and avoid the dreaded part time job? Post your ideas below and The Yorker will do a follow up investigation. Nothing illegal please, you cheeky monkeys.

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#1 Aisha Regan
Tue, 27th Nov 2007 1:23am

ebay! think of all those random clothes you don't wear, that mobile you upgraded... seriously even my smelly old converse sold for a tenner on there! it gives you pocket money

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