James Absolon explains how this Pope-themed film, despite its risky premise, works
Alex Pollard reviews Hollywood's biopic of the controversial Margaret Thatcher
What to avoid if you're single:
Roman Holiday - Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn defy their social circumstances to enjoy a day out in Rome. Not only is Peck charming as ever but Hepburn is at her most adorable. If only every man was this noble in helping out a woman in need, and if only romance blossomed this quickly. If you insist on watching it by yourself on Valentine’s Day, you can at least enjoy the sights of Rome. [Hannah McCarthy]
Love Actually - Love, love, love! Squeals the film! All you need is love! So… if you haven’t got it, don’t watch this. Colin Firth chasing a tattooed beauty, Hugh Grant wooing a sexy secretary, Keira Knightley pouting to perfection. All very nice, but if you’re without a lover, maybe you should watch another! This will just make you heave a disgruntled sigh of annoyance. [Emily Mears]
WALL·E - It may seem like an odd choice for a romantic film that the lonely must avoid, but anyone who is not moved (almost to the brink of tears) by the first half, and the ending, of this film is clearly missing a fundamental human quality. The simple, and literally unspoken, love between WALL·E and EVE is poignant and heartbreaking and is so beautifully told that anyone a bit lonesome this Valentine’s Day better give this a miss. [Jonathan Wilkes]
How to Lose A Guy in Ten Days - Apart from the explosion of sweetness and teenage romance that you definitely want to avoid whilst alone on Valentine’s Day, this film is as bad as a romantic comedy can get. This cliché story, filled with sugar sweet “aah” moments, has such a predictable plot that you know from the beginning the main characters will end up kissing on some romantic place, overlooking the city and its thousands of little lights at night time. Besides making your viewing experience in the gloom of your room extra miserable, this knowledge will cause an outburst of despair by the lonely viewer if they actually end up on a bridge in a romantic climax already predicted 90 minutes ago. [Jonas Vantol]
Chocolat - A touching film about a woman and her daughter who moves to a small French town and set up a chocolate shop. Vianne, played to perfection by Juliette Binoche, is initially treated with trepidation but as she wins over the town one person at a time, the film reveals a love and poignancy to touch anyone. Then when Roux (Johnny Depp) arrives, love takes on a new meaning for Vianne. A film well worth watching but maybe not by lonely souls this weekend! [Jonathan Wilkes]
What to avoid if you're a couple:
The Cure For Insomnia - John Henry Timmis IV’s experimental film mostly consists of L.D. Groban reading his own 4080 page poem interspersed with heavy metal music videos and porn. What’s more, it comes in at 87 hours in length. That’s really long. I mean, it’s so long that your chances of scoring at the end of the night will be more than a little bit hampered by the fact that once the film’s over, it’ll be lunchtime… on February 18. [Pete Burgess]
Schindler’s List - Steven Spielberg’s 1993 masterpiece about the unlikely hero Oskar Schindler, a German war profiteer who risks his business and his life in order to save over a thousand Polish Jews from certain death by employing them in his factory, is widely considered to be one of the most emotionally powerful films about the Holocaust. Just don’t watch it tonight unless you and your loved one plan to spend the rest of the evening doing anything other than acquainting yourselves with your supply of Kleenex. There will be tears… [Rich Powell]
Irreversible - Despite being a fantastic and powerful film, this may not be one for romance. It commences with Marcus (Vincent Cassell) brutally attacking a man in a nightclub. “Are you enjoying it, honey?” The story plays out in reverse so we learn why Marcus is on a mission of vengeance: his girlfriend Alex (Monica Bellucci) was assaulted earlier in the evening. “This is so romantic my darling.” No, not really.
Fahrenheit 9/11 - This choice may seem slightly arbitrary given the Valentines Day theme; why not just pick something as widely inappropriate as Full Metal Jacket or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Well it's a selection based on experience. Taking a girlfriend to the cinema to see this maniacal rant of docu-film for an anniversary was probably the single-most short-sighted decision of my life. It hardly set the tone for the evening and the images of charred American corpses, (excuse the pun), put the final nail in the coffin. [Diggory Dunn]
Enjoy your Valentine's Day!
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