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FIFA 09
Animal Crossing 3DS
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Blue shell
SNES

Great Gaming Moments Ruined by Poor Design

Snakes and Ladders
Written by Charles Deane

All games have problems. Usually these are just glitches, side-effects the designers hadn’t originally intended. We can’t begrudge game designers too much for this – they have schedules to work to and, if nothing else, they can usually patch these problems later down the line. What is unforgivable, however, is when something atrocious occurs that was entirely part of the game’s design. (Needless to say, SPOILERS LIE AHEAD. I’m using games that are a few years old, if you’re worried about spoilers by now you only have yourself to blame.)

The Metal Gear Solid 3 Ladder Metal Gear Solid 3 is widely regarded as the best instalment in the series. It certainly made no bones about its cinematic theming; the game even had its own James-Bond-style theme music. It really set the tone for the rest of the game; a Cold-War-era spy thriller with loads of eccentric enemies, crazy gadgets and... …a ladder. I have nothing against ladders. They are very effective for scaling vertical distances in the most efficient manner possible. But this ladder took 2 minutes to climb. And it played the intro theme (sans instruments) the whole time. For a game including a photosynthesising sniper, a cosmonaut in a jet pack and a man COVERED IN BEES, the suspension of disbelief is ruined by a disembodied singing voice as you climb a ladder.

The Halo 3 Ending I am far from Halo’s biggest fan, and many would argue that the game’s campaign shouldn’t be treated too harshly since the main focus is the multiplayer, but I’m not buying it. Halo has aspirations to be epic Space Opera. The final flourish in the trilogy, therefore, is a major disappointment. The battle with Guilty Spark is anti-climactic, but the driving sequence that followed was woeful. Supposedly the greatest FPS series of this generation ended with a driving sequence. Even if you know how to control the Warthog (and if you claim you can, you're lying) this has to be a huge let-down to the series' fans.

Ape Escape’s RC Car Ape Escape was my first game for the original PlayStation. It was brilliant. I'm not looking back with rose-tinted spectacles either – this game is a blast. The PSP remake removed a lot of the charm, with different controls and decades-long load times, but I would seriously recommend trying to get a hold of the PSOne version. Play it. Beat it! Then give up hope of ever achieving 100% completion. Some of the monkeys in the game are inside cages. The only thing that can fit inside these cages is the RC car. You have to navigate the RC into the cage, along narrow bridges, coax the monkey out and then catch him quickly before he runs back inside. As soon as you switch to the net, the monkey will bolt back inside the cage since the car isn’t there to scare him off anymore. I got this game in 2000. I didn’t achieve 100% completion until 2007.

The Force Unleashed Star Destroyer Fight Star Wars: The Force Unleashed had a very simple concept at its heart: You are a badass Sith, who goes around the galaxy kicking ass. Subtlety was thrown out the window, the game was designed to make you feel invincible, building up to the moment where you brought down a Star Destroyer. The marketing hyped this a lot: Starkiller casually standing there, one hand outstretched, effortlessly bringing down one of the Empire's symbols. Except it wasn’t like that at all. What should have been the ultimate show of strength turned into a monotonous war of attrition that took ages to complete, undermining the entire tone of the game. Slowly turning the Star Destroyer to face you, arduously dragging it out of the sky and periodically fighting off TIE fighters as the Star Destroyer returned to its original position.

Every Pokémon Game Since Red/Blue/Yellow The basic premise of the original Pokémon games: Train a team of Pokémon, fight the gym leaders, defeat Team Rocket and become Pokémon League champion. Become the very best like no one ever was, as it were. An incredibly satisfying mission and, when you were done, you were free to try and “Catch 'em all”. That was all we needed. Simple and great. In Gold/Silver/Crystal, this formula seemed much the same. Train a team, defeat Team Rocket, become Pokémon League Champion… except this no longer proved you were the best. After you beat the League, you had the entirety of Kanto to revisit, defeating eight more Gym leaders and later former-protagonist Red. In Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald the evil teams were either Aqua or Magma (both in Emerald). Fine, but the “post-game” shenanigans continued. Emerald even introduced the Battle Frontier, further undermining the idea that being Pokémon League Champion makes you “The Best”. Diamond/Pearl/Platinum and Black/White continue this trend, and with the task of catching them all becoming more and more daunting as new Pokémon are introduced every time, it really begs the question: What does it really take to be the best like no one ever was these days?

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