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Missing Men

mensfootball2
Have James seen the back of Emmo?
Wednesday, 27th May 2009
It's that magical time of year again when the 'plebs' of the third teams get to mix it with university royalty like Witherwick and Gardner, but which members of the royal family that is UYAFC are having to make do with being court jesters. Who are the missing men of the College Cup?

Tam Sheriff

The fact that this tubby hitman is not in any James squad is beyond belief. Sheriff is eligible for the first and second team squads but both have shunned him due to lack of prior commitment to the James cause. Would the James front-line have drawn a blank against Vanbrugh seconds if Libya’s second most valuable export (after crude oil) was up front?

Aggrieved friends have set up a facebook group in an attempt to get Weah-esque Sheriff back in the black and white stripes. The group has a following of 62 members and rumours have been circulating about Sheriff taking a stint away from football to concentrate on his sprinting; these rumours have been denied by the player's agent. As well as the facebook group, the James football email list has been bombarded with messages stating ‘Sheriff or bust’ or other pro-Tam slogans. Will the James hierarchy give in or does his future lie elsewhere?

There was talk of a transfer to Goodricke seconds before the emergence of super striker Andy Myhill and the only current bid on the table is from Wentworth. James have accepted the offer but a major stumbling block seems to be the wages and image rights that Sheriff is demanding. Wentworth do not want to break their wage structure so it looks like Sheriff will continue to be a ‘missing man’ for the duration of the tournament.

Andrew Emmerson

With James’ plethora of goalkeeping options, it seems as if the university’s number one will have to please himself by stroking balls through the covers this term. In an odd coincidence, the James production line has churned out the three goalkeepers the university use with Sam Clitheroe and Tim Green keeping out Emmerson.

The main hit Emmerson has taken is that his ego cannot handle not having a value in Fantasy Football and so he must belittle everyone else’s value to make him feel better. He can console himself with the fact that university cult hero Theo Fielder is a better footballer than him according to Fantasy Football. Sadly, I do not have a value either so cannot proclaim that I am worth more than him.

Ian McKellow

Quote Ian McKellow is relatively better than Phil Neville Quote
Dom O'Shea

There was no room in the Halifax squad for versatile university first-teamer McKellow. With his medical commitments, he was deemed surplus to requirements due to his unavailability for many matches. Halifax goal machine Shaun Evans has called for his return in this week’s predictions column (http://www.theyorker.co.uk/news/football/3102) so he may not be missing for too much longer. His quality cannot be denied, with Dom O’Shea testifying that McKellow is "relatively better than Phil Neville."

Have I missed any of the ‘missing men’? If so post your comments below.

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#1 Myles Preston
Wed, 27th May 2009 6:20pm

Bad shout from O'Shea about McKellow being relatively better than P.Nev., but there is no doubt that McKellow has been one of the top five players at the university for the last four years. He's class. If he changes his mind and plays, then Halifax could well be favourites...

#2 Myles Preston
Wed, 27th May 2009 6:24pm

Oh, and you've forgotten about Kit Edwards as a 'missing man'. He was always my first name on the teamsheet last year (along with Smith and Wakeford), and one of Alcuin's most influential players in the two college leagues last year, and his 'retirement' before the college cup was a massive hindrance last year. He will continue to be missed in this college cup. Another seriously good player, and really underrated.

#3 Anonymous
Wed, 27th May 2009 8:31pm

'Sherriff is illegible'

Nope, I can definitely read it.

Comment Deleted comment deleted by the author
#5 Dominic OShea
Thu, 28th May 2009 1:48pm

Haha Sneddon has craftily quoted me out of context. Sned thought Ian was a utility man like Phil Neville, but I said he was better than that and a more appropriate term was versatile. And Myles how can Kit Edwards be the first name on the teamsheet if you already have 2 other names down already?? I knew you had a strange style of management...

#6 Anonymous
Thu, 28th May 2009 2:41pm

You don't know what you're on about O'Shea, probably because you're not royalty...

#7 Myles Preston
Thu, 28th May 2009 4:20pm

They weren't down already, just all three of them at exactly the same time! I'm lucky that I have the ability to put three names down on a piece of paper at exactly the same time - it's a trick that I learnt off Jonny Mac during his tenure as Futsal Captain, he had that canny knack of knowing who would do a job for him week in/week out...

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