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That’s not to say I was surprised by Storm’s swift exit following a butchering of a Boss classic – ‘Born to Run’, a working-class anthem chock full of masterful lyrics like “The highway's jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive” is bursting with the story of an ambitious hard-working man. It should’ve worked with Storm’s backstory, but the whole thing was a mismatched mess – starting with the gimmicky motorbike and worsened by the half-naked dancers, the spirit of the song was ripped from it and became a hollow shell of a tale. It didn’t help matters either that Storm lacked the grit necessary to pull off that track.
We also witnessed the first ejected wildcard act, campy duo Diva Fever, who were given just-released club track ‘Barbra Streisand’ (…gay icon I guess?); it may have hurt their chances that the song hasn’t had a chance to make an impact yet and that most of the actual singing was done by back-up singers (since when was X Factor a venue for club music anyway?). Still, after their unrehearsed and disjointed ‘I Will Survive’, it became obvious that the initial joy they’d brought to the competition had worn off.
Belle Amie’s bottom 3 appearance proved yet again that girl bands don’t have an audience unless they’re pre-packaged and marketed at us from all sides, but at least they showed improvement from last week’s awkward ‘Airplanes’ and some personality in ‘You Really Got Me’. But their sing-off ‘Big Girls Don’t Cry’ just highlighted the absence of their team spirit – anyone else think each one looked like she wanted to be singing on her own? The same problem clearly plagues tween-favourite One Direction, where Bieber-haired slimy-looking Liam hogs the microphone and Irish blondie Niall keeps cockily sneering at the camera. But since I know they’ll be around most likely until the final, I’ll ration my dislike of them for the coming weeks.
My indignation was mostly reserved for Wagner’s dancers – not him, his dancers – who concluded his bawling of ‘Help Yourself’ with the men grubbily massaging the women’s breasts. How is Brian Friedman allowed to keep a job with such creepy choreography on a so-called family show?! For very different reasons, my other lowpoint was TreyC – she howled her way through ‘Purple Rain’, rivalling Wagner for off-key moments, finishing off with one final excruciating note – only to have universal praise heaped upon her like whipped cream on dog poop. I just don’t get it.
Between forgettable performances – Paije or John, anyone? – some gems did manage to sparkle, including Rebecca’s spot-on ‘Feeling Good’ which showcased her beautiful upper range and vocal control, although I would like to see her take on something a tad more contemporary. Mary had another classy and captivating moment, while Matt was an emotional powerhouse – but they should let him dial it back and do something low-key so he can really be in his element.
Still struggling was Katie who strained her way through an Etta James song, although it was nonetheless progress. Aiden in the meantime was strangely hypnotising with his trembling performance style, despite tripping up during the second half of ‘Jealous Guy’. But I’d still choose him over one-note Cher doing her best rudegirl impression any day.
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