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A sentiment coined by my housemate following last week’s bottom two sing-off rang even truer last night. I didn’t know who I wanted to chide more – TreyC for having the sheer nerve to cover the notoriously difficult Toni Braxton track ‘Unbreak My Heart’ or Katie for her embarrassing decision to prop herself on the floor mid-song, proclaiming “sod it!” and pouting like a child not getting her way.
Perhaps the fairer thing would have been to send Katie home, as a third-time visitor to bottom two territory – and yet given the choice, I’d opt for the quirky platinum blonde over O Shrieky One any day. Whatever the tabloids print about Katie, I can’t help but feel some pity-based loyalty to her, and praise her for at least sometimes picking less obvious songs. Saturday night was certainly not a highlight for either of them, but all performances considered, She With the Stupidly Spelt Name tallies more in the ‘I don’t ever want to hear this again’ column.
The only person I thought could have potentially rivalled Katie and TreyC was Mary, who received negative feedback for the first time with ‘There You’ll Be’. In its original form, the song is flawless and heart-wrenching; Mary’s cover emotionally flatlined as she seemed to ‘speak-sing’ as opposed to stamp it with that big booming voice of hers. But the woman’s just impossible to dislike, a sure-fire way to be safe regardless of performance – same applies to Paije, who fell apart midway with his half-hearted morph into ‘Hey Ya!’ from ‘I’m A Believer’ (a fusion that seemed unnecessary in the first place) and then sort of found his way back with the help of the Brian Friedman Dance Corps. There was something undeniably bouncy and infectious about it, though.
Middling this week was Cher, who found a good singing/rapping balance with ‘Empire State of Mind’, although I’m sure I’m not alone in pining to hear her in ‘actual singing mode’ without the R’n’B gold-plated bells and whistles. And while Aiden’s ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’ was a step-up from last week’s disastrous re-imagining of ‘Thriller’, I’m getting a little restless with the monotonous performance style. Somebody take this boy to Disneyland and cheer him up!
Easily towering head and shoulders above his competition, Matt proved once and for all why he’s the favourite with a wonderfully controlled rendition of his bootcamp song ‘First Time Ever I Saw Your Face’. I never thought that the intimacy and chills he’d delivered first time around could be replicated (in such a bombastic-encouraging venue, no less) but the universally adored painter hypnotised with his effortless glory notes and delicious falsetto in equal measure. Rebecca also repeated the oft-sung Bob Dylan bootcamp track ‘Make You Feel My Love’; acceptable, but maybe a little on the unimaginative side on Cheryl’s part.
As for One Direction, I’ll give it to Simon that it was genius to grant them ‘Kids in America’, a song that’s so catchy and 30 years old (so average fan age x 3?) – although our generation’s comedy legend Zain delivered once again by lagging on almost every cue to run, jump or bring the mike to his mouth. Seriously, I cannot recommend highly enough as a non-fan of One Direction muting the TV and just watching Zain’s every gesture. Wagner shaking his hips dressed as Elvis and faux-marrying a skimpy Playboy bunny impersonator on stage is just visually over the top, but Zain…
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