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Sirens: sadly not a modern sexed-up adaptation of the Greek legends with unnaturally glossy-haired women luring men to their deaths. No, rather a TV adaptation of ‘Blood, Sweat & Tea,’ which in turn, is a book adaptation of ambulance technician Brian Kellett’s blog, ‘Random Acts of Reality.’ Still with me? This is a blog that’s done so well for itself that it’s cited in the NHS guide on staff blogging. Which means that as much as I’m permitted to criticize the drama, I won’t be able to fault its technical accuracy, despite my many years’ experience of watching medical dramas…
A big mistake would be to approach Sirens as a straight comedy. It quite clearly isn’t, despite starring Rhys Thomas, who I’ve been unable to take seriously since his achingly funny performance in Bellamy’s People/Down the Line. It’s more of a drama with funnies thrown in, which sometimes works, and sometimes doesn’t. It follows three paramedics, Stuart (Thomas), Rachid (Kayvan Novak), and Ashley (Richard Madden), along with insecure police sergeant Maxine (Amy Beth Hayes), as they work on the front line, rescue the ungrateful British public, perpetuate blokeish stereotypes etc. Yes, surprise surprise, they’re not what you’d expect as people who work in the emergency services; they swear, they mock patients, and they have lots of sex. To be honest, if you’d been aware of the episode title ‘Up Horny Down’ – which, in retrospect, makes the show sound like Skins having a mid-life crisis – you’d be even less surprised.
This week, the team deals with post-traumatic stress, after Stuart performs open-heart massage on a car crash victim. Their councillor (Morven Christie, although we saw more of her lovely bottom than her face) informs them that they will suffer periods of euphoria from the adrenaline before crashing emotionally, neatly summarised by the episode’s title. Fun and frolics aplenty then, as the three men tackle the ‘horny’ stage; much more of the episode was devoted to this than the ‘down’ stage at the end. I wonder why.
Whilst I assume this is based loosely on true events, with some artistic license, I found the characters a tad unbelievable, especially given the smattering of beautiful women that crop up as councillors and gas meter readers throughout the episode. The crass jokes at the patients’ expense, particularly one about how fit a victim of domestic abuse is, are shoved in just to shock, which seems annoyingly obvious. And while Thomas has naive, vacuous know-it-all down to a tee, I found his more emotional scenes unconvincing. Annie Hulley, however, is excellent as the team leader: “Go and waste some time getting talked to,” she snaps, as she orders her team to see the councillor, where we begin to see the writer taking a swipe at the NHS. The script does have its moments, such as Stuart trying to teach a drunk the error of his ways: “You can stop feeling what you’re obliged to feel and make up your own rules.” “I’m gonna be sick,” replies the drunk.
All in all, I found Sirens like the open-heart massage scene: a little bit serious, a little bit gross, and, er, more heartfelt than I expected. However, the characters were still no more interesting than anti-bacterial handwash, so while I might take a gander at the book, I might not be feeling ‘up’ for that next episode.
Sirens continues on Channel 4 at 10pm on Mondays
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