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Camelot would like to think that it is the Arthurian legend as you’ve never seen/heard/smelt/felt it before. However, as we pit it head to head with BBC1’s teatime treat, Merlin, it becomes clear that it’s not quite as different as it may like to think.
While the first couple of episodes of Camelot were lucky to have 3 adjacent scenes without a bit of rumpy pumpy, or a flash of a breast, bum or both, later episodes have either been less frequently gratuitous, or (gasp) sex/flesh-free. Despite this, you would think that the rampant activities of Camelot would easily outclass Merlin, but it’s a much closer battle than you would think, with Merlin’s writers having their own subtle ways of keeping the flesh count up. Merlin casually walks in to Arthur’s room, who’s just getting out of bed sans shirt; Arthur practices sword-fighting sans shirt; a convenient circumstance arises which requires Arthur to change clothes, the camera just staying with the scene until he’s sans shirt…
Scores: M – 6/10 C – 8/10
After three series of Merlin, totalling 39 episodes, Arthur still isn’t the king, despite numerous attempts on Uther “I’m still standing” Pendragon’s life by resident-smirker Morgana; neither has anybody realised that Merlin is… well, a wizard. (The clue’s in the name, really.) Over in Camelot, King Uther was disposed of in the pre-credits sequence of the first episode. Hurrah! We then saw recreations of the Sword in the Stone, the Lady in the Lake and Excalibur! It was all going so well, and then we had an entire episode where Merlin took the Knights of the Round Table to get some books. I think that says it all really.
Scores: M – 10/10 C – 9/10
Katie McGrath’s Morgana (Merlin) is evil. I thought I ought to tell you that, just in case you hadn’t noticed aforementioned smirk; it can be quite difficult to spot. Her evil status is further cemented by the weapons that aid her evil deeds, having relied upon a magic plant, an army of skeletons, and, in a less imaginative episode, a dagger. Eva Green’s Morgan(no -a) is equally persistent, but she is more three-dimensionally evil, relying more on politics and unhinged nuns; if only she smirked a bit more often…
Scores: M – 9/10 C – 7/10
One thing that is distinctly noticeable about Camelot is its lack of sorcery: Joseph Fiennes’ Merlin has done little more than make a fire bigger and turn a lake to ice which, frankly, is nothing that a strong gust or a mild Yorkshire winter, respectively, couldn’t have done. And Morgan’s only trick seems to be that she can shapeshift, which is something that David Cameron does on a more regular basis, and far more impressively. In Merlin, they do real magic. “Gtmbegrodngh!” Merlin whispers dramatically, complete with CGeye effects. While this usually only results in a stool being moved a bit to the right, at least he’s putting the effort in.
Scores: M – 7/10 C – 3/10
On the one hand, we’ve got a blonde, selfish Arthur who, although making the odd speech, spends most of him time eyeing up Guinevere or doing product placement for Pantene. And on the other, we’ve got a blonde, selfish Arthur who, although making the odd speech, spends most of him time eyeing up Guinevere or doing product… no, his hair’s just plain greasy.
Scores: M – 9/10 C – 9/10
M – 41/50 C – 36/50
Winner: Merlin
It was a fairly close battle, but Merlin just has so much more practice with tournaments (min. 2 per series), that this seemed like small-fry in comparison. Camelot fought admirably but, if it had put as much effort into this as it does into its sex scenes, then it would have done much better. A sentiment which can also be applied to the programme itself…
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