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“He is too skinny for words. You give him a hug, you get a papercut!”
In which the Doctor battles aliens made out of obesity (Adipose); aliens that look like the Transformers (Pyrovile); and aliens that communicate via bottles of Fairy washing-up liquid (the Hath)…
Poor Martha Jones. Not only was she so traumatized by her adventures with the Doctor that she had go home and recover, but within the space of several minutes, she had been replaced by Astrid Peth a.k.a. Kylie Minogue. Kylie Minogue! Was it tough competition, though? Astrid didn’t have time to make much of an impression during ‘Voyage of the Damned,’ but her death added some much needed sobriety to an episode set on a flying Titanic. Like most Christmas Specials, this story was non-threatening and very, very cheesy, yet it couldn’t stop some of us dreading the oncoming companion, Donna Noble (Catherine Tate), who we’d last seen squawking in ‘The Runaway Bride’…
But if any episode could allay those fears, then it was ‘Partners in Crime,’ which reintroduced Donna through some of the funniest scenes so far. The moment where the Doctor and Donna are reunited – miming through a window – is hilarious, and you realise that Tate and Tennant make a fantastic double act. And if the new companion wasn’t good enough in this episode, how cute were the Adipose? Baby aliens looking for a home? Awww! Alright, so they’re made out of fat people, but awww!
So while I was setting up my own Adipose orphanage, we came to ‘The Fires of Pompeii,’ which included many great things, such as Ancient Rome; a famous historical landmark; and Peter Capaldi. It was an average-to-good story that allowed Donna to properly establish her character, though was still heavy on the sarcasm and shrieked comebacks (“I’ll surrender you in a minute! Don’t you dare!” etc.). Now, if Tate still didn’t convince you, then ‘Planet of the Ood’ should have remedied that. Donna is outraged and disgusted by the abuse of the Ood, and Tate can bring on the waterworks like no other. The story wasn’t exactly fun though, as it more or less existed to question the morality of alien slavery (just what every kiddy wants to learn about on a Saturday evening). I feel sorry for the Ood; not only do they look like they’ve had a run-in with a spaghetti bolognese and come off worse, but also they are incredibly prone to being taken advantage of.
The TARDIS (and possibly budget cuts) eventually took us back to Earth for ‘The Sontaran Stratagem’/’The Poison Sky,’ where the world’s satnav systems had gone beserk and started poisoning everyone. It was a welcome return of old baddies, the Sontarans, who just cannot be taken seriously; Donna’s mother (Jacqueline King) is more intimidating, and she’s not even armed. Martha also reappears (yay!), but has had a career – and personality – change from caring medical student to feisty army chick (sigh). On the one hand, this was a silly two-parter, with silly monsters, but on the other, there was too much emphasis on the army and the Doctor’s annoyingly repetitive “no guns” stance. As a result, it was one of the weakest points of the series.
Sixth episode, ‘The Doctor’s Doctor,’ was little more than a gimmick, sadly. Not content with only two women in the TARDIS, the Doctor is given his very own biologically related soldier, Jenny (Georgia Moffet), who is of course, a total BABE. Who knew that the ultimate soldier would be kitted out in a tight T-shirt and skinny jeans? But much of the episode is given up to the bonding between ‘father’ and ‘daughter,’ instead of concentrating on the much more important issue of underground war between humans and an alien race. A better approach would have been to deal with the emotional waffling in two parts, or an entirely different episode altogether. With the middle of the series sagging in quality again, surely things could only get better?
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